The Security Guard Talks

Talk about anything you'd like! Play games, tell jokes, and share your life.
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Somewhat. Are you time travelling magician?
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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Hakiri
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Post by Hakiri »

These have left me laughing so much! Thank you for all of these IGWT! :^^:
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Which ones?
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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Hakiri
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Post by Hakiri »

Cloud wrote:Which ones?
Quite a lot. My favourite would have to be the Thomasson one. XD
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In_Gabriel_We_Trust
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Post by In_Gabriel_We_Trust »

Hakiri wrote:These have left me laughing so much! Thank you for all of these IGWT! :^^:
Thanks you very much for that kind remark. :^^:

There are some more situations and other references on my Website.

http://members.tripod.com/snapshot_city ... /id12.html
[img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/1ginjicool.jpg[/img] [url=http://snapshot_city.tripod.com/celstructure/][img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/2ginjifun.jpg[/img][/url]

The Doctor : … and then, just to finish off, I’m going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky !
Dalek : But you have no weapons ! No defenses ! No plan !
The Doctor : Yeah ! And doesn’t that scare you to death ?
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

You are quite welcome! Your purpose is all of these IGWT.
Image
The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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transmet
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Post by transmet »

You know...it's uncanny how much security and bartending have in common (and I'm talking before intoxication sets in X| ).
Hold On Tightly ~ Let Go Lightly
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In_Gabriel_We_Trust
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Post by In_Gabriel_We_Trust »

Oh please do. I hear bartenders have the best stories.
[img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/1ginjicool.jpg[/img] [url=http://snapshot_city.tripod.com/celstructure/][img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/2ginjifun.jpg[/img][/url]

The Doctor : … and then, just to finish off, I’m going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky !
Dalek : But you have no weapons ! No defenses ! No plan !
The Doctor : Yeah ! And doesn’t that scare you to death ?
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In_Gabriel_We_Trust
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Post by In_Gabriel_We_Trust »

It been awhile. You can run but you can't hide. So here goes again.

Guard : What exactly is the point of positioning a security guard in a zone that is already being covered by camera's with motion detectors ?

Manager : That way he can immediatly intervene when an alarm goes off. How many alarms have you got so far ?

Guard : A whopping eight during the last hour.

Manager : And the security officer was there to intervene ?

Guard : Immediately.

Manager : So it works perfectly. What was the cause of the alarms ?

Guard : The security guard being positioned in a zone that is already being covered by camera's with motion detectors.
[img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/1ginjicool.jpg[/img] [url=http://snapshot_city.tripod.com/celstructure/][img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/2ginjifun.jpg[/img][/url]

The Doctor : … and then, just to finish off, I’m going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky !
Dalek : But you have no weapons ! No defenses ! No plan !
The Doctor : Yeah ! And doesn’t that scare you to death ?
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shellie
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Post by shellie »

:D heeheehee! Quit movin' around and you won't set off those alarms, Gabe!! ;)
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JWR
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Post by JWR »

I guess that means your soon to be replaced by the latest lifelike robot from the other thread :evilblk
"Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." Harlan Ellison
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

I get it. What about yours?
Image
The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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JWR
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Post by JWR »

Cloud wrote:I get it. What about yours?
Sorry Cloud, your dancing would set off the motion dectectors.
"Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." Harlan Ellison
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

""? Mine?
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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Not Sir Phobos
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Post by Not Sir Phobos »

Oh, this is some funny stuff. :D
God's in his heaven, All's right with the world
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