Never Tease a Little Old Lady!

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Ashura
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Never Tease a Little Old Lady!

Post by Ashura »

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
to you on April 1 this year?
Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my porch
on a warm Spring evening, when this
young man came up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: He began to rub my
breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive
and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down
and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's
when I shot the little bastard!






I've read this a while back, but my friend sent it to me this morning, so thought I'd share it anyways (for those that haven't read this one before)
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I'm not a bad girl......

I'm just a good girl being bad for you
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kittens
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Post by kittens »

LOL :rollin

See women are cleaver and scarely even they we become old :P :P
Cats rule!
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

I am glad you find this funny. Are all rollin

See women cleaver and scarely even they we become old P P?
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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Not Sir Phobos
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Post by Not Sir Phobos »

Probably a hung jury.
God's in his heaven, All's right with the world
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

You seem uncertain. I did not know that about a hung jury.
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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aernath
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Post by aernath »

Yep. Buying myself a pistol when I reach 80. :P

And for the record, you just shoot 'em in the foot so they can't run away, but can still perform. :wink:

(young and evil, old and evil - I'll never change!)
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Tell me more.
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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aernath
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Post by aernath »

So, um, one time at band camp...
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Not Sir Phobos
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Post by Not Sir Phobos »

aernath wrote:So, um, one time at band camp...
Go on......
God's in his heaven, All's right with the world
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klet
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Post by klet »

Are you sure you want to hear the end of that story? :emb
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JWR
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Post by JWR »

aernath wrote:So, um, one time at band camp...

Is this the story of how you came to play the BAGPIPES :deek
"Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." Harlan Ellison
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aernath
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Post by aernath »

JWR wrote:
aernath wrote:So, um, one time at band camp...

Is this the story of how you came to play the BAGPIPES :deek
Ha Ha.
No, that was my husband's fault. :wink: He wanted something that we could do together for a change. :rollin
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Are you serious? I thought it was too.
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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sailorsv13
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Post by sailorsv13 »

I'm gonna be like THAT when I grow up!!! :dban

~ Bri ~
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"Dark have been my dreams of late." ~ King Theodin from Lord of the Rings
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Congratulations.
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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