Stupidity knows no boundries

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Ashura
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Stupidity knows no boundries

Post by Ashura »

This was an actual letter sent out by the St. Mary's Church.
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these
include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God andHis love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local
mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

I sometimes wonder what these people are thinking when they actually write these letters :?

It seems that I qualify to be checked into a mental health center. :ok:
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lys
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Post by lys »

HAH, so hilarious. :D

I particularly like the quote:
"-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) "

But goth or not I am pretty sure %100 of teens in the world show at least 5 of these traits. :wink:

Soo funny! 8)
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zerospace
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Post by zerospace »

lys wrote:But goth or not I am pretty sure %100 of teens in the world show at least 5 of these traits. :wink:

Soo funny! 8)
Agreed!! That is too funny :rollin

Then again... didn't you all know - anime is the work of the devil too! hahaha. :crackup
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In_Gabriel_We_Trust
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Re: Stupidity knows no boundries

Post by In_Gabriel_We_Trust »

-Claims to be a goth.

If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is. :D
[img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/1ginjicool.jpg[/img] [url=http://snapshot_city.tripod.com/celstructure/][img]http://snapshot_city.tripod.com//sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/2ginjifun.jpg[/img][/url]

The Doctor : … and then, just to finish off, I’m going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky !
Dalek : But you have no weapons ! No defenses ! No plan !
The Doctor : Yeah ! And doesn’t that scare you to death ?
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Ashura
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Post by Ashura »

I specially like these 2 quotes:
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
I'm a dangerous Buddhist who likes to frequently make time for my computer. *I'm so evil* :dgrin
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Krafty
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Post by Krafty »

Oh dear, seems I subscribe to 20 of those points so I must be a terrible person. Meh, what can you do?

This quote is among the best I've EVER read anywhere, I'm still giggling because of it.
St Mary's Catholic Church wrote:-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
LOL! :crackup
It's a little disconcerting because I live in St Mary Hoo and St Mary's church is just around the corner from me. Thay can probably smell my 'evilness' as I sit here and write.

Oh wait... I can see reflections of burning torches from my driveway...
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crackpot27
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Post by crackpot27 »

:hitting: .....I'm speechless.....I fit over 70% of that......hmmmmm.....I finally have a home!!! :nuts
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bulleta
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Re: Stupidity knows no boundries

Post by bulleta »

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
More commonly known as Count Chocula. Of course only a goth would know that. ^_^"
This letter really brightened up my day. I had no idea that I was a goth. And everyone else I've ever known is one too. Neat. I guess I spent way too much time with friends unsupervised by an adult. *shame*
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OnWingedFeet
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Post by OnWingedFeet »

Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
That is so absurd it must be true. I like how eating Count Dracula cereal is equivalent to drinking blood. Real Catholics only eat Cheerios or Fruit Loops because they look like little halos.
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blueheaven
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Post by blueheaven »

Why is it, then, that my goth students are the sweetest and most well-behaved lot in my classroom?
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Deadly Whispers
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Post by Deadly Whispers »

:crackup

Oh my, that's really . . . sad . . . and so funny I have tears streaming down my face.

Aside from the obvious, the reason I'm laughing so hard is this:
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
1. Violently shakes head to music. That sounds friggin' hilarious. Is it evil to say "headbanging"?
2. I just attended the Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas concert last week. Yes, Christmas, where the show revolves around the Lord and his Son and the journey of an angel and helping your fellow man yadda yadda. And yeah, I did see someone flashing the "secret devil sign" and I remember thinking, "What a dumbass." Savatage may be heavy music, but that's hardly appropriate for that particular show. Scratch one up for St. Mary's.
2. b. Me and Magician were *gasp* headbanging at this concert. God save us!

. . .

Maybe you had to be there. :P

~ DW
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Baakay
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Post by Baakay »

-Expresses an interest in sex.
Wow. I guess we're ALL Satanists, huh. :dsmoke

Whatever happened to "Go forth, be fruitful, and Multiply. And replenish the Earth."


I guess we can reproduce as long as we do it in a disinterested way.



Oh, and I'm with you Blueheaven on the goth kids front. Our recently-graduated and soon-to-be 2nd Masters' holder here in the library was seriously Goth when she started here. Kinda skeered some of the little old ladies out here in the back, you know? ;-) But like everything else, dress, hairstyles and accessory tastes change over time. She still wears black chokers and studded belts, has a pile-o-piercings and a tattoo, but she's recently received a national-level scholarship from the American Library Association and is a 4.0 grad student. Go figure. :tongue to the authors of the diatribe.
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Nene
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Post by Nene »

Wow... according to that we're all expressing signs of being Satanists. o.o;

I can't believe the sweeping generalisation of it though and the bad image it gives that church for publishing that letter.
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Sugarflower
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Post by Sugarflower »

Well, I'm damned then. What about the rest of you? :P
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Post by kisara »

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

*laughs her little witchy arse off*

But then not. This is the kind of bullocks. . . >_<


"count dracula cereal"

That is just beyond funny. Give me a break!
"You have to keep your whits about you when you're losing your mind." - a friend

:P
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