Need advice, love problems!

[SS Kakarot]

Hello everyone,

I'll try to make a long story as short as possible, there was a girl I had a really big crush on in my class, almost ten years ago.
I was with her in the same class for three years.
I think she knew I liked her, she always was nice to me, but she had another friend.

After the three years were over I went to another school, and haven't seen here since.
I never forgot about her, but life had to go on.
I checked on the internet now and then, but never found anything about her.

About a week ago I signed up on a big (Dutch) website where a lot of people keep blogs, post messages, post photos, info about themselves, and can add friends to their profile, who can also post messages then.
So all of a sudden I find myself checking if any of my old classmates are there, and there she was.
You then send an invitation to the person you want to add as your friend, the next day she accepted.
By the look of the photos she is still as beautiful as I remembered her.

So I posted a message saying that I was glad she added me, and she posted back that she was happy I found her and asked me how I was doing.
We posted a couple more messages saying how we are and what we were doing now.
After that I couldn't stop thinking or dreaming about her!

I really don't know what I should do now, her profile says she is single (although I doubt that someone so beautiful can be single), it does look like she goes out often, and has lots more friends then I do.
I don't have a lot of friends myself, or family, and I have never been on a date with anyone.

I can't just tell her that I love her and find her the most beautiful girl on the planet, can I?
I doubt that she will be interested in an idiot like me anyway, and I don't want to lose her as a friend.

What should I do, am I going nuts?
Any advice is welcome, and thanks for reading!

[Shampoo]

Awwwwwwwwwwww!!!
sooo sweeet!! XD

Sorry sorry! I know thats the last thing you need but..
OMG! such a cute story! I <3 it!


Anywhoooo, as for the advice, I voted for the "chat w/ her
for a while and see"

because people do change and grow especially
in a large span like 10 yrs, (I'm assuming she is
near the same age as you ^_^)
and the only way you would know if you two are even
compatible for each other in a gf/bf way is if you get to know
her again in the present. See how it goes for a few months
and go from there!


That way you dont come off as superficial
(she might think this since you just saw her new
photos and you dont wanna give her the wrong 1st
impression ) and it will give you a chance to
see if she is even the girl for you that you want to start
something sweet with.

Personally when I dated, I dated 'potentials'-- people who
were either friends 1st, or I knew enough about that I thought
would be fun to know better as a bf/gf. Idont like shopping
around grasping straws >_<

All the best to you hon!!! I wish you mucho luck!

And please keep your family here posted

[Cloud]

I see. How much do you think it goes for a few months
and go from there is? I believe I have heard that somewhere before.

[Shampoo]

BAD Cloud!

Moving in on SSK's chick.. pfft!
No respect Cloud

[Cloud]

What makes you bad?

[Shampoo]

^
geez your such a wise ass 'bot today

[Mat4226]

Considering you've not had much/any contact with this girl in about 7 years, just take it easy for now. But before you can even start talking to her, get some confidence in yourself. If she's glad to hear from you, take it at face value; don't be so hard on yourself. After that's all taken care of, start talking to her more, as long as she's willing to talk to you. Next, start catching up, from the time you last saw each other until now. If she doesn't want to talk about something, then move onto something she does. From there, the decision to keep talking is all up to her, there's nothing else you can do.

May the best of luck be with you in your romantic endeavor!

NOTE: If any of this suggestion/advice seems obvious, you may disregard it; it's not like I'm an expert or anything.

[blueheaven]

I have to agree with Poo here. It's always a good idea to take things a little slow. Talk with her, find out more about her. Learn her likes and dislikes. You might end up finding out one of two things...

1. You have more in common than just attraction, which will bolster your courage when you ask her out.

2. You don't have much in common besides attraction, and you've gained a chat friend and saved yourself an awkward moment.

Best of luck to you. It's never easy to put yourself out there, but the rewards can be fantastic!

[hyelakingsfan]

Well, i gotta agree with everyone else here. Just start chatting with her and get to know her better, and if everything is going well then ask her to go out somewhere (but not to something too romantic for the first "date" ). If you dont wanna make it too obvious or dont feel too comfortable, then go out with a group. The good thing about going out with a group is to see what kind of friends she has too. Well i cant think of much now since i just came from work and am drained so i hope that helped and if you have any questions or just feel like talking just PM me

[Caroline]

i am the type of person who just blurts everything out, but yeah talk to her and catch up, see how you both feel. this was such a sweet post. thanks for sharing it with us. good luck!

[miz ducky]

I can't just tell her that I love her and find her the most beautiful girl on the planet, can I?

No! Don't do that.

I don't mean to be the negative one, but...

If she's the type of lady who goes out frequently and makes lots of friends, then she's quite possibly just being nice. Not that she's not really very happy to hear from an old friend, but that may be the extent of it.

If you keep in touch and find out more about each other, then you'll be able to find out where she is in her life right now. You'll also be able to find out what you have in common.

Once you find somethings that you both like, then you should ask her to join you in doing whatever that is. (but just to see how things feel between the two of you - take it slow)

Have you even seen her in person since school?
Telling her that you're in love might just scare her off. (but people in the Netherlands might react differently to that sort of thing, I don't know)

Also, 21 is still pretty young. You both have plenty of time to work things out so you don't need to rush into it.

[SS Kakarot]

Thanks everyone for the kind words, and advice!
I'm glad I posted this here.

I was out of town a little while this week and I that in my Blog space early this week, she posted a message telling me to have a good time.
None of my other friends said anything, but she did!
Yesterday evening I posted that I was back (also in the Blog space), and she replied this morning saying that she was happy that I'm back!

Maybe I'm just not used to anything, but to me it really means a lot that she said that.
So I posted a message saying thanks, and that she is too good to be true, I hope that I didn't over do it with that!

I will see how it goes now, and will add her too MSN tomorrow, although I am very nervous about that.

[almathea]

Frankly I advise you to talk a bit with her, friendly and then propose to meet, on old friendship basis. It's only when you'll see her for real that you will know what you exactly feel about her, if it's true love or just nostalgy.

Ilived something like that with an ex-boy friend. I had to leave the country where we both lived, so we were separated while everything was great between us. And we lost contacts because there was a revolution in that country. Ten years after I got some news. He seems to be as perfect as he was before... But when I met him for real I realized that we had become very different and that's was no love.
Now his a dear friend of mine

I don't know how it will happen for you, but you MUST see her again face to face!

[SS Kakarot]

Yes, that is great advice, thanks for telling your story almathea.

I doubt that I will ever see her for real again, but who knows....
I don't think anyone can find someone exactly like him or her self, but as long as you love each other and are willing to do anything in the world for that person everything should be ok, at least that''s how I always think about love.
You read so many stories about people who get married, but can't get along at at all, or nag at each other all day.
I don't want that, I believe in true love.

Maybe I'm just nuts.
Anyway thanks again!

[Cloud]

Tell me more. It is great. Can you ask for advice in the form of a question? .