Advice for my 14 year old

[MyBaby]

Hello everyone! Okay I need some advice about a situation for my 14 year old daughter. I'm baffled and in the grand scheme of things really isn't a big deal but it's bugging me. My daughter is a freshman in HS and went ot the homecoming dance with a bunch of girlfriends. She met a boy (he's 14 too) and he just happens to live right down the street from us. He moved here in June. They seemed the hit it off well and were texting and met at the park a few times and really seemed to like each other. Then she saw him at a football game a week later, he was with a bunch of his friends, and my daughter went up to him and gave him a hug. He said, "That kinda surprised me." and then was abrupt to her and went away with his friends. My daughter's friends said he was acting immature and liked her but was too embarrassed to show it in front of his (girlfriendless) friends. Now he hasn't texted her since. WTF? Ironically I happened to meet his mom the day before the dance at the homecoming game, we chatted and she was very nice. My question is should I talk to her about this? I think my daughter and her son need to talk face to face and just clear the air and move forward, as friends or strangers. What do you think? Thank you for lending and ear.

[Gonzai]

I think you need to stay out of it. I tried that with my
kids growing up, and it just pissed off my son, and made
the other person want nothing to do with them. Just a
thought, but kids will work things out on their own.

[pixie_princess]

The most embarrassing thing for either of them would be to have their parents try to mediate this. I know you mean well, but it would be very awkward and if the kid was embarrassed before, he wont even talk to her after this kind of a scenario. It would be different if you and the other mom were friends and you or her invited the other family over for a small get together. Anything contrived and those kids will smell it a mile away.

[Drac of the Sharp Smiles]

It's hard to figure a response like that except to say there are people who are very VERY touchy-huggy in public and some who are very VERY NOT, as well as all shades inbetween. It could be that he's just of the not touchy-huggy in public variety and is avoiding discussing it. My husband is a bit reserved in public too, so I completely understand the mentality.

However it may be, I agree with all the others here. Becoming involved would at best not help things and at worst would make the problem bigger. If your daughter comes to you and asks advice, certainly give it! Otherwise, I would go no further than, in private, asking her (your daughter) a non-yes/no, leading question like: "so what ever happened with *boy'snamehere*?" That's a WIIIIIIDE open door for her to talk about whatever is happening, if she wants to talk about it.

[cutiebunny]

Is she out of his social circle? For example, is this boy popular while your daughter is not popular? That's what usually happens in cases like these - Said boy and friends consider themselves to be popular and have evaluated your daughter as not being part of that popular circle. In order for the boy to retain his position in the circle, he can't be seen with people that are outside that area.

And it's also possible that his friends razzed him about the hug all night long, so he's had to experience the accusations that he might like her, etc. If he's not a mature person, it's something that will bother him and he'll try to ignore her in the future in order to avoid a rehash experience.

Yeah, both could use a good talk with each other, alone and sans parental influence. But in the meantime, your daughter should just continue living her life and being as awesome as she can. And eventually, she'll chalk this up to another experience along the way to finding someone that she can be happy with.

[MyBaby]

Thank you everyone for the advice. Sometimes it's easier when another person looks at the situation at a different angle.
No I don't think she's out of his social circle. If anything it'd be the other way around. My daughter is a very outgoing, friendly person and popular with all high schoolers from freshman to senior. I met the boy it seems very out of character for him to do this (advoiding her). He approached her at the homecoming dance, he met her at the park, he held her hand...Baffled
I have a feeling his girlfriendless friends are giving him a hard time so he is embarassed. But I guess time will tell. She is going to a Halloween Sock Hop this Saturday and this boy might atttend. I'll keep you posted.

[MyBaby]

Okay, so to anyone who was interested in the follow up.
Emily still has not talked to "the boy in question" but she saw him at a HS sock hop (where he proceeded to ignore her). Then at the same dance she was asked to go steady with a boy she liked since August. All's well that ends well. Hahahaha Ahh teen age drama, so glad I'm not 14.