Ok... There's this girl i like a lot and have like for like 2 years but anyways (and yes I am very shy)... I was going to ask her out, then one of my best friends did first !!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! So, now i'm stuck and i have no clue what to do especially since he's one of my friends and i don't want to back stab him. (note: i also know one of my other friends also likes her...).
I know this sounds very pathetic but i just would like some people's opinions and advice (if you have any to give...)
Well CM would say even though you have liked her for 2 years, that getting envolved with a girl, that your friend(s) like is not a good thing. Yes, granted you like her a lot, but friendship is a much more stronger bond than a girl. I am not saying ask your guy friends on a date, I am just saying sometimes you have to give things up inorder to get the greater things out of life.
I mean this girl could be drop dead gimmie a lil suga hubba hubba gorgous inside and out, but if she is with your buddy, all you can do is support him. I mean you might be happy for him, but in the back of your mind you're gunna wish they would break up... but in my opinion she is still off limits, even after that.
Well, if you're SHY, now is a great time (and excuse) to get to know her better so you can a) decide you really do like her and be in a much better position next time she's single or b) decide that while she's hot, you don't think you'd get along as well as you might like.
Examples from my past history: There was a guy that had a crush on me for three years. I knew about it. Someone tried to set us up, but I pointed out that 'I'm not going out with anyone who's never even said 'hi' to me'. I don't require a guy to make all the moves, but say, hanging out in the same place as you and your friends every morning trying to make it look like he's NOT watching you and is there for perfectly legit reasons for three freakin' years and not saying hello once in a while is ridiculous.
Why did he stop having a crush on me? Because one of my friends fixed me up on a date with him making him think I was interested and standing him up would be cruel. But after actually hanging out with me ONCE, he realized I wasn't his type. *rolls eyes*
And... let's all hear an 'oh please' about the dating friends' interests/exes. Did your friend who's now seeing her know you liked her? If not you've been keeping damn quiet about it. I was actually interested in fooling around with one of my exes friends, but I told him it was probably best not to because it would be incredibly mean to my ex. Of course, my ex turned around and started dating his same friend's ex, and even making out with the girl in front of him (that last part is a definite no no)
Finally, my current wonderful boyfriend of over 3 years: was heavily chased by my closest friend for... about two weeks. I tried to get them together. He had no part of it (didn't like her, liked me) Well my friend and I had a joint birthday party that he got horribly sick at--like, flu sick not drinking sick--and I practically carried him home to make sure he got back alright. My friend got pissed off that I was going home with him, despite the fact that he was obviously very ill, and screwed some random guy that night. That kinda made me give up on trying to get them together (she seemed to care so much!) but I still was and am very kosher about how cutesy we are together around her because I'm a considerate friend. She didn't even know we were dating until well over a year after the fact.
So: Don't believe all that friends crap. Friends deserve special treatment and consideration, because they're your FRIENDS, but you shouldn't live your life out of trying not to upset them. Most people don't have the same friends all their lives and I know plenty of people who have shorter friendship length expectancies than romantic partner length expectancies. Do what I said and try to get to know the girl better as a person to figure out whether or not she's worth waiting for and pursuing, and work out how to approach the situation from there.
If you have waited two years you should be able to wait it out a couple weeks/months until they break up. Most relationships don't last too long. Like Requiem said, use this time to get to know her. If it is meant to be it will happen.
If it is meant to be it will happen. [/quote]
I agree 100% except that if both of you are waiting, nothing will ever happen, get closer and see what happens
Dave
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
thanks for all the advice! I've been getting to know her a lot better since she is in my bio and global class this year and we've been talking online for 2 years and we talk frequently in bio. I guess i'll just have to wait my turn.
In my experiance, friends really do make the best lovers, and the most lasting and meaningful relationships. So, be friends with her and see where it goes from there. Sounds like you're on the right track.
British, you see, useless. I cannot get the equipment.
!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! So, now i'm stuck and i have no clue what to do especially since he's one of my friends and i don't want to back stab him. (note: i also know one of my other friends also likes her...).
- I hope all goes well... you shouldn't worry though...
