Open Letter

Post by **JWR** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:34 pm

Ok , time for a deep breath and reflection.

As it seem whenever our community has a dustup over something the first thing that happens is a lot of people suddenly decide to “quote / end quote” punish the forum and all those who frequent it and enjoy friendships with an “I’m leaving/closing my gallery” type of announcement.

I have heard this many times and it hurts a lot for most involved are ones I count as personal friends. That said my friendship is not limited to one having a gallery or posting on a forum here on Beta. In the same vein such announcements other than hurting a few that actually care about those involved truly do not affect the vast majority in our community.

There seems to be a few that “online” can’t seem to get along yet if put in the same room with out the buffer of the internet actually might get along quite well for a lot of things ended up getting typed onto a computer screen that one would never say if the person was sitting across from each other.

I do know that no-one in this community is irreplaceable. I mean Beta survived the loss of David Pierpont. I know damm well if I dropped dead tomorrow Beta & Rubberslug would continue just fine.

We are all adults who have a common enjoyment of anime and the artwork involved in it’s production. This is suppost to be fun. Being a diverse group does mean we will from time to time have disagreements which should be handled as adults , that means without name calling , jockeying back & forth as to who has the last word. The best words are often those left unsaid.

All should think about what you post and before hitting send or submit, hit the print button , stop and read what you typed and think seriously as to whether you truly mean to say those thoughts or are they things after the blind red rage of the moment has passed would you say differently. Look as to how you might react if you received similar. The problem with the written word is that one cannot see the face of the one “talking” and judge if it’s “said” with a smile, in jest or with deadly seriousness. The written word unfortunately is open to be interpreted by the reader and in a lot of cases not as intended so choose your words carefully.

Those involved should stop , take a break and after some time some normalcy shall return. Remember why you joined Beta / Rubberslug. If certain posters bother you to a point , use the blocking tool Magician provided and just interact with those you want to.

Ok Deep Breath/ Much better.

moonrabitt · Post by **moonrabitt** » Sun Oct 21, 2007 11:00 pm

Oohhhh....*thinks* I hope I have not been mean to anyone

I do wonder why people say:

I’m leaving/closing my gallery”

I know that some may leave the hobby, but why do they close the gallery down and password protect it? To avoid people?
I'm not really around for that long, so I wonder....

blueheaven · Post by **blueheaven** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:33 am

I do apologize for the "quote/end quote" typing. However, I do it to avoid exactly what you wish to avoid. Confusion. I know the posts are long. Sometimes, that cannot be helped. But by addressing things point by point, I am trying to make myself as clear as possible. But, if it irritates people, then it will stop. I will stop.

I keep hearing the word community brought up. The communities of my past were ones that did not resemble Mayberry. People talked to each other. Discussed things. Sometimes, arguments flared up. Feelings got hurt. But you know what never happened? People didn't ignore other people. People didn't move away. They talked things out until they reached a mutual understanding.

The internet is no buffer for me. There is not an "Internet Brian" and a "Real Life Brian." This is me. I don't say anything on this board that I would not say to someone face to face. Maybe that makes me a jerk. I don't know. However, I am struggling with something that I think everyone struggles with these days. I struggle with the idea of propriety. I have become so enamored with the idea that I CAN say something, that I need to start thinking more about whether I SHOULD say something. I am trying my best to get better at that. And I can honestly say that I have not said anything in the past six months on this board that I regret. Although, the way I presented could have been more appealing to the board.

Thank you, Joe. You know I have the deepest respect for you. And I know that you are friends with some of the people that I have had personal issues with on this board. I totally understand that, and I am sorry if that has caused you tension. I'll say that from this point on, I am wiping the slate clean on my end. Sometimes, it's just better to have a fresh start.

Carry on.

Joost · Post by **Joost** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:34 am

I think you are not the only one who thinks that closing down a gallery is rather strange... I mean its nice art, fun to see,...

moonrabitt · Post by **moonrabitt** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:46 am

Joost wrote:I think you are not the only one who thinks that closing down a gallery is rather strange... I mean its nice art, fun to see,...

I don't get it either

Maybe some people get in fights and close down their site since they are angry???I never thought of closing mine down (I put too much work on it, and scanned too much to let some person make me close it down)
So...if anyone knows the answer, please tell???

kamidake · Post by **kamidake** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:06 am

Hmm... I have known people who closed down their gallery due to harassment, as in, people actually send harassing e-mails directing at what the person collects etc. so no gallery means no more hate mail. Other then that... I don't know either. ^^;

klet · Post by **klet** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 11:40 am

kamidake wrote:Hmm... I have known people who closed down their gallery due to harassment, as in, people actually send harassing e-mails directing at what the person collects etc. so no gallery means no more hate mail. Other then that... I don't know either. ^^;

Well, if your gallery is on RS, it means that you are part of that community, like it or not. You have a set of rules to follow, and things that other people do affect you. If you want to cut all ties with the cel collecting community (and not everyone does) you need to cut the one with RS, too.

Plus, some people prefer being black hole collectors in an attempt to cut down the level of competition. *shrug*

Honestly, if being part of a voluntary community based on a hobby is no longer fun (or in some cases, is downright painful and makes you feel bad about yourself and others) you should be able to quit it without others judging you and thinking that you're "running away." You can choose what's good for you, and they can choose what's good for them.

Xelloss · Post by **Xelloss** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:14 pm

kamidake wrote:Hmm... I have known people who closed down their gallery due to harassment, as in, people actually send harassing e-mails directing at what the person collects etc. so no gallery means no more hate mail. Other then that... I don't know either. ^^;

I've closed my gallery down multiple times before, at one point for around a year, due to these reasons. I never really left the community, though. I don't think that the two have to be tied together.

- Karen

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:15 pm

Which others? Interesting deduction. That is ""

RoboFlonne · Post by **RoboFlonne** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:37 pm

I agree with JWR that there are two personalities.

And that the Internet personality is different from the real life personality.

You are truly wise!!

moonrabitt · Post by **moonrabitt** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:18 am

I've closed my gallery down multiple times before, at one point for around a year, due to these reasons. I never really left the community, though. I don't think that the two have to be tied together.

- Karen

I can't believe some people! Wasting time making others feel bad

They are sore losers and "ain't got no book learnin'"

p.s-I love your collection...specially your Valgarv op cels

Don't let them get to you....

Post by **sensei** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 7:39 am

I've walked out of internet communities in the past in protest, though usually for a few weeks or a month rather than "forever," and never with a farewell message. As JWR says, no one is irreplaceable, and the number of people in any community, RL or virtual, who will really miss you are much fewer than you can imagine. I've been much more dramatic in leaving the RL groups I've seceded from (churches are great fun to break up with because of the potential damnation factor on both sides). And, as JWR would predict, as soon as the posters stop jiggling on the wall from the sound of you slamming the door on the way out, people shrug and go on about their business as if you had never been a member.

I will say this: I've always been much more ready to leave a community (again RL or online) because of the misconduct of a moderator, a person whose duty it is to intervene and moderate disagreements. It's the nature of people to seek out conflict, and as most of us have a tough skin and a playful disposition, most of these disagreements end up being great fun for everyone. But occasionally (yes ... yes ... in RL too) something rubs the wrong way or gets misinterpreted, and mountains ominously rise up from the molehills.

That's when a good mod jumps in and defuses the situation. Sadly, I've seen mods run and hide under the doormat, or worse, take sides and help define a scapegoat for the trouble. [Yes, yes, in RL churches as well as on the 'net.] That's when I say, "yep, time to move on."

Let's keep in mind that people are social animals, and while it's true that none of us will be missed for long on Beta, when Beta becomes more drama than enjoyment, it too won't be missed by many for long.

[Not a criticism of Beta or the current mods -- I missed the latest drama completely thanks to a big stack of papers to grade -- just a little "This too shall pass" realism.]