HELP:What is the meaning of a hug on a first lunch date?

[blueheaven]

Try telling him all this. If you don't know his music, inquire about it. If he swears to much, you can simply mention that it makes you a bit uncomfortable. And tell him that you are not comfortable talking about his ex's, and that you would like to know more about him instead. The worst that can happen is what NSP said, you find out that you are not compatible sooner rather than later.

[ginga123]

mightymask, that was hysterical. lol

bri, make sure to be and stay true to yourself. you'll know if he's right for you or not.

[mightymask]

We've gone out a couple times and hit it off in at least one way...hehe But now I have other issues. He really makes things awkward when we're together like he plays music I don't know in the car and is all excited and I'm sitting there thinking well I would participate if I knew the words at all...yikes. And he swears a lot, not out of anger but just in general to sound cool or something. He has a definite obsession with the ladies and talks about his ex's a lot...he keeps asking me out to do stuff though even though it is really awkward...I don't really know what else he wants from me....any thoughts?~ Bri ~

Wait a minute. He was talking about his ex's and swearing ... and that didn't make you hot?? Are you feeling okay? Obviously the fact that he has ex's means he's had girlfriends and he's in demand. The fact that he swears means he's on the cutting edge and mysterious. Good golly if you don't snatch this guy up, I'll have to turn gay and snatch him up myself!

[Carla]

We've gone out a couple times and hit it off in at least one way...hehe But now I have other issues. He really makes things awkward when we're together like he plays music I don't know in the car and is all excited and I'm sitting there thinking well I would participate if I knew the words at all...yikes. And he swears a lot, not out of anger but just in general to sound cool or something. He has a definite obsession with the ladies and talks about his ex's a lot...he keeps asking me out to do stuff though even though it is really awkward...I don't really know what else he wants from me....any thoughts?~ Bri ~

Wait a minute. He was talking about his ex's and swearing ... and that didn't make you hot?? Are you feeling okay? Obviously the fact that he has ex's means he's had girlfriends and he's in demand. The fact that he swears means he's on the cutting edge and mysterious. Good golly if you don't snatch this guy up, I'll have to turn gay and snatch him up myself!

Your SUCH A PERVERT!!!

[cutiebunny]

The fact that this guy is bringing up his ex's is sending all sorts of red flags up for me(and it appears, other members of the board too). Bringing them up once in a blue moon is fine - it's a part of our past that, for some, is more important to talk about than others. But to bring it up so soon in a relationship, and, judging from your post, quite frequently, is kinda worrysome.

What you need to ask yourself is why is he bringing up the subject of ex's. Is it to brag to you that he's a wanted man or is it due to his insecurities? Would he drop you like a hot potato if Ex #1 came back to him, lusting to be with his enormous (fill in the blank) or would he realize that you're his current woman and banish her to the land of unlovin'?

Anyways, it's hard for me to comment since I don't personally know both of you, but, if this continues and/or you see more red flags popping up, regardless of how good he looks in underoos, cut your losses and run.

[almathea]

Well... Honnestly, the fact that he speaks a lot about his ex's seems quite positive to me, sorry guys

By experience, it started this way with almost all my ex's. Talking about ex's is also a way to say"I'm lonely now and you see how much relationships are important to me. Comme on, move to me"
And my boyfriend and I have been together for 11 monthes now

The fact that he swears a lot... Well i don't know. It may be to look cool and then try to impress you though he really feels he doesn't deserve you. But it may also be lack of education or more a lack of maturity.

So yes, just ask him to swear less. Or just try to swear too to see how he will react

Anyway, men and women will never fully understand each other, so just do what you feel is right.

And good luck, one way or the other!
That's true: you're sweet!

[sailorsv13]

Thanks for all of the advice guys. Some of us fencers are going out tomorrow night after practice so I guess I'll have to see if there are any new developments. So far though it seems really wierd. We kind of made a deal about not letting everyone at the club know about it so it doesn't effect our fencing. But he still does cute things like coming over to see how I am doing and watching me fence (we fence different weapons so we don't see each other the whole time). Last night he rubbed is elbow against me when he was walking by. But it is when we are away from fencing and going out together that he starts acting all funky and there is awkwardness...maybe I moved too fast for him? He doesn't attempt to give me kisses before we part and such....maybe I'm just too emotional.

~ Bri ~

[sailorsv13]

So another update ^.^
We hung out a bit this weekend and he showed me how to blow glass which was SOOO awesome. Although I kind of get the hint that he just wants to be friends. He gives me the sort of uncomfortable hug (where he pats the back a couple of times and doesn't seem so in to it) before I leave and stuff like that. I'm starting to think he might just be sort of full of himself and uninterested

~ Bri ~

[miz ducky]

You're probably right. Trust your intuition.

But it's cool that you got to see something new, and if you guys get along well, then you have another friend to do fun things with.

As long as you are both cool hanging out with out any romantic interest, then it's all good.

[Caroline]

this thread is adorable. haha. ive gotten to the point where i just wait until a boy flat out says "i like you etc" before assuming anything. hugs are always nice.