an apology

[soda]

Goodness, I sure can come across as an asshole. I could probably even make a poll but that would be a waste of time. If you're out of the loop, here is what I'm talking about. Yeah, classic soda there being a prick. I actually type stuff like more than you think but then my head gets the better of me and I edit and/or don't even post. Last night that didn't happen and after a chat with BH today (might even still be on the RS chat) I realized I goofed but the thread is locked and the damage is done. The main point of my post is actually a positive one if you can see it. The point is don't give in to the bigots. Don't let them run your life. Don't let them make decisions for you. Don't fear them. Stand up to them and shove it back in their face, ie, don't close your gallery because someone complained.

Let me be clear. I wasn't offended by her avatar and signature and I find it appalling (if true) that people were complaining because it was two men. But I have faith in the mods and would think that if it were a man and a women, the same action would be taken as I know that they have in the past.

But what I saw was a post by someone upset that they had to change their avatar/sig when it's clear in the rules what is and isn't allowed. I also saw a person that had the hubris to think that closing their gallery was punishing us. While I'm sure that all of us think taking your ball and going home is a childish act, I've been told that this was not the thinking behind closing the gallery. In a kinda of reverse logic (to me at least), they thought they were punishing themselves.

I've since chatted with BH who is much closer to the Mrs. Poe than I am. Heck he seems to have his fingers in all sorts of conversations with people. Anyway, at first he was hesitant but with the promise of not flaming him (why the heck he would think I would do that is beyond me), he agreed to chat. Things are much clearer now and I know some of the backstory. I'm not in the glomp-squee-huggle club so I don't know what's going on with most members on the board, good or bad. I can understand her frustation and with everything else going on, it just exploded for her. While I explode on my bike, some people explode online. My post was a reaction to a post written by someone having a normal day when it's now apparent that they weren't having a normal day/month.

I give BH permission to post the text of the chat we had so as to get a better feel as to what I was thinking (Hakiri was also there as a witness). I apologize to Mrs. Poe and will do so in a friendly email (honest, don't delete it) when I get the time tonight to give it the attention it deserves. Until then, this public apology will have to make due. I'm now heading out for my therapy with a group of great guys that like to beat the shit out of the road as much as I do. To me there's nothing as cathartic as a hard bike ride to get rid of the angry demons in my head.

So let me leave you with this thought: Don't give in to the jerks and bigots. Don't let them win. They want you to close your gallery. Keep it open and keep posting and shove it in their face.

[Lynxa]

*huggles Soda even if he's not in the club*

I had absolutely no idea what was going on behind the scenes either, and never had a chance to see either the offending avatar or the cel in question, but I have to admit that you voiced several thoughts that also occurred to me as someone who was not privvy to all of the backstory (albeit in a slightly more prickly manner ).

I'm glad that you had the strength of character to find out what was going on and apologize for perceived prickliness and also VERY glad to find out that Ms Poe was doing what she did for reasons other than childishness (*huggles Ms Poe* )

I sincerely hope that she was asked to remove her avatar and sig because it violated the rules and NOT because it contained an image of two men though. It would make me very sad otherwise.

So let me leave you with this thought: Don't give in to the jerks and bigots. Don't let them win. They want you to close your gallery. Keep it open and keep posting and shove it in their face.

AMEN!!!!!!

[Baakay]

I sincerely hope that she was asked to remove her avatar and sig because it violated the rules and NOT because it contained an image of two men though. It would make me very sad otherwise.

Yes. Very yes.

So let me leave you with this thought: Don't give in to the jerks and bigots. Don't let them win. They want you to close your gallery. Keep it open and keep posting and shove it in their face.

AMEN!!!!!!

Singeth the alto in the choir: AMEN!!!


Soda, I have to say that was mighty good of you to post this. As a person who's had more than one occasion to do so, I know for a fact how hard it is to eat one's pride in public ("aww dangit, I did it again!!")

The point about the bigots, though. Oh yes. One of the things that makes me saddest -- as if someone with a long history of clinical depression needs something else to be sad about -- is how close-minded our world has become over the last decade. There's just no tolerance or acceptance.

If I may borrow from one of the great figures in the annals of humankind, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." There's the foundation of at least one of the world's three great religions, in a nutshell. It seems to me that we often go to great lengths not to take that simple admonition to heart.

So, Soda, again I say hurrah to you. Even if yesterday's post was easy to misunderstand, today's explanation and apology was a fine thing.

[Ashura]

Ms. Poe, please don't take it personally about being asked to remove your sig & avator. I was asked to take down my latest emoticon less than a month ago, because it was deemed unappropriate by DW, so I did. That is why I have stop using emoticons for my avators. They weren't horrible and did make some of you laugh, but rules are placed for a reason. It's not always "horrible censorship" and "they're out to get us" rules. Don't punish us by taking away your website or by leaving Beta.

Well, it is good to read you speaking out Soda. You really are a nice person (funny in a realistic speaking sorta way....I just confused myself there but that is okay). Even though he may seem like a grouchy so and so, he really is a good person. So he isn't a *huggle type of guy*, so what. NSP sometimes says things may be construed as insensitive and I know that isn't true either. Subjects and post will arise that will make someone mad, DON'T TAKE IT SO PERSONAL! I try not to. I believe that everyone here are really great people...some are nice, some are funny, some are uber-pervs.....and that is the way I like it




Have fun on your bike ride Soda, if you get run over, I get your helmet! j/k

Don't shy away from Beta or else you won't get another hug from Lynxa (trust me, you really don't want that to happen, I saw her pic in the album...boy is she cute!)

[Cloud]

My programs don't depend on Microsoft.

[Baakay]

My programs don't depend on Microsoft.

Well now. That was as profound a thing as I've heard all day.

[Not Sir Phobos]

The point about the bigots, though. Oh yes. One of the things that makes me saddest is how close-minded our world has become over the last decade. There's just no tolerance or acceptance.

Hurah for the truth.

There is no tollerance and acceptance left because they removed it all in the name of tollerance and acceptance.

[Deadly Whispers]

I sincerely hope that she was asked to remove her avatar and sig because it violated the rules and NOT because it contained an image of two men though. It would make me very sad otherwise.

At the risk of mimicking Baakay, Yes, very yes. That is the reason. Not who was in the image (of the banner, the avatar was not in question), but what they were doing is what violated the rules. The subject matter of sex might be too mature for some of the younger crowd that views Beta.

I hope this helps.

~ DW

[Cloud]

Tell me more about it.

[jenn-b]

Again...chiming in with everyone else...Yes and YES!

In the distant past, and even the near past, we - the mods - have been lax in our enforcing of the rules. Since we do NOT want this forum to degenerate into the depths of chaos, we now find it necessary to enforce the rules. They are placed there for all to read, and ALL to adhere to.

Personally, I could care less which genders are depicted - I too am a huge Yaoi fan. But as far as this forum is concerned, if the content is graphic in any way, it goes against our written guidelines. I am truly sorry if feelings were hurt or get hurt in the future.

I have been extremely guilty of letting things slide. And certain things in my life have made it so that I cannot be as diligent with this board as I'd like. I will do my best to attend to this board during this time. But I'd also like to ask that you as members remain responsible for your own posts. I, like Soda, tend to write/rewrite/edit all of my posts. Heck, this one alone has taken me about 20 minutes to put together so that it is at least slightly coherent!

As mods we are often accused of censorship. Heh...this happens quite often as a matter of fact. But we are doing our best to do is create an environment where almost everyone can feel comfortable. I say almost because you just can't please everyone - no matter what course we take, someone will always disagree.

Please keep this in mind: We do our best, but we are only human. Gods, if only I were an all-knowing bot!

[Cloud]

Interesting. Why would you want to do ask that you as members remain responsible for your own posts? Ask that you as members remain responsible for your own posts.

[Gonzai]

Well put Jenn - Ditto what she said!!

[Remi]

I'm not in the glomp-squee-huggle club so I don't know what's going on with most members on the board, good or bad.

This might be one of the best lines I've ever read on the web, both because of the phrasing and because I know so exactly what you mean.

It takes a big person to apologize publicly. I don't think you're a prick and in fact I have a lot of respect for you, whatever that's worth. Preach on brothah.

[Baakay]

I say almost because you just can't please everyone - no matter what course we take, someone will always disagree.

Well thank heavens for that Wouldn't it be dull if we agreed all the time!

[dude_moose]

Thanks for taking the initiative Soda

echo:::
This was definately a rules issue. We try to do our best to make everyone happy, but this can be hard, so I think the best thing to do is keep an open mind and keep giving suggestions to help make the community a better place

-d_m