HELP:What is the meaning of a hug on a first lunch date?

sailorsv13 · Post by **sailorsv13** » Mon Nov 05, 2007 6:12 pm

Hello ^.^
I went on sort of a lunch date with a guy I fence with. Ok not just a guy, the hottest guy ever!

Anyway he had tried to ask me to go get some lunch for a while and I finally had the time to go this weekend. It was nice we talked and he kept eye contact almost the entire time. He smiled a lot and seemed to enjoy the conversation but he also seemed nervous. But the conversation never got uncomfortable. I found out that we have things in common besides fencing...he is a fine arts major and he blows glass! Awesome. He didn't really talk about himself personally very much which is a given for many guys I suppose, so I couldn't possibly tell how much I would really like him if we were to start dating.

So when we left we were in seperate cars so we had to say goodbye...I was honestly full-on ready to pounce on him but refrained of course ^.^ He leaned in and gave me a really comfortable hug. Comfortable is the only way I can really describe it because it was like gentle and felt good. It wasn't a quick hug it lasted a while. This sounds really pathetic but hear me out! After I left I looked back on it and wondered what that meant? It didn't seem like anything went wrong at all, it rather almost seemed like he wanted to do more but didn't out of respect...but it is so hard to tell! He isn't an open book he's more like a bank vault locked tight! If it is respect that he was giving me I am not used to it with previous boyfriends. Anyway we didn't exchange numbers or anything, and he lives kind of far out of the city. This was Saturday and he made sure I was fencing on Monday and then said he would see me then.

What do you guys think? Does he like me or does it sound like he may have been trying to let me down easy! I'm going to see him tonight and I'm all nervous to find out what he'll do ^.^

~ Bri ~

sailorsv13 · Post by **sailorsv13** » Mon Nov 05, 2007 6:30 pm

Is a hug ever a sign that a guy likes you in a first date situation? I searched google like mad and didn't come up with anything very helpful.

birdie · Post by **birdie** » Mon Nov 05, 2007 7:37 pm

I'm no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I usually find that if someone has no interest in you they avoid physical contact of any kind. A handshake at most would be all that could be expected.

I'd say if it the hug felt warm and friendly that is what he meant for you to feel. It sounds pretty straight forward to me.

miz ducky · Post by **miz ducky** » Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:56 pm

It doesn't sound like he's trying to let you down.
Don't go pouncing on him just yet though.

I hope things go well!

blueheaven · Post by **blueheaven** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:28 am

OK, I qualify as a guy. Tripod and all. I can tell you without hesitation that...

1. He digs you
2. He was trying to be subtle about it and wait to see how you would react(if you bristled or pulled away slightly).
3. He will now wait for you to make the next move (asking him out for lunch, a walk, coffee...something neutral and safe), and he will look for a sign that you are interested (you initiate the hug when you meet him, or a small peck on the cheek when you say goodbye)

He's made his move, now it's your turn to see where it goes from here. That is the sign of a NICE guy. He is letting you dictate the pace. Good luck.

PS: If you have the slightest suspicion that he might be gay. disregard 1-3. It was a friendly hug, and he is looking for a "girlfriend" to chat with.

moonrabitt · Post by **moonrabitt** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:00 am

blueheaven wrote: PS: If you have the slightest suspicion that he might be gay. disregard 1-3. It was a friendly hug, and he is looking for a "girlfriend" to chat with.

I've found that out, believe me! I got a hug and the guy was cute, but it turns out that he wanted my brother's number

. I then said that my bro was not that way, and they guy told me to call him if he ever turns....That's one awkward moment!
So I hope that your guy is straight

Go for it! Ask him out on a social outing!

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:01 am

That is just one of many awkward moment.

Cordelia · Post by **Cordelia** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:12 am

He seems to like you and you def like him so ask him out. No harm, it can be under the guise of a 'friendly' outing to give you something to fall back on if it doesn't work out. But do dress like it's a date and see how it goes from there

Gosh this is so fun, it's been ages since I went on first dates. Keep us updated ya? Gd luck!

glorff · Post by **glorff** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 10:56 am

Blueheaven is right, except that you don't have to worry about the gay thing

RoboFlonne · Post by **RoboFlonne** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:19 pm

I think he loves you but just was too nervous to kiss you!

sailorsv13 · Post by **sailorsv13** » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:05 am

This is great guys! Thank you so much for the advice. I still haven't seen him at practice...maybe tomorrow night!? If anything does happen I am afraid blueheaven is right and I'll have to make the first move...which kind of makes me happy but at the same time just thinking about doing it makes me nervous! I always thought I was good at this sort of thing but I can't stop thinking of the horrible outcomes!

Moonrabbit that sounds like a horrible experience! Hopefully I won't have to worry about that...when we met for the first time and we went out with the team to lunch he sat next to me and mentioned twice that he didn't have a girlfriend. It was really cute but I guess I'm mostly just worried that the lunch date went bad, like I smelled or something (very likely, competing in a fencing tournament=take a shower BEFORE the lunchdate! We went right after though).

I'll be sure to post as soon as I see him again

~ Bri ~

darlingapple · Post by **darlingapple** » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:32 am

good luck to you and do keep us posted on the outcome!

i will love to know what happens next.

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:32 am

Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times LOVE seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.

sailorsv13 · Post by **sailorsv13** » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:51 am

Wow Cloud, that was deep. And uncharacteristically for you, appropriate for this post!

~ Bri ~

Carla · Post by **Carla** » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:51 am

Cloud wrote:Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times LOVE seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.

That is so PRETTY!!!

sailorsv13 Good Luck on your date!!!