When A Fellow Collector Ignores You Or Leads You On

[sugarcels]

I thought I'd bring some action to Anime Beta, LOL.

Has a fellow collector ever ignored you or lead you on? Maybe you sent an email asking if you could make an offer on a cel, and two months or a year later you still haven't heard from him or her. Or maybe somebody said they had some cels from a won lot that they were willing to give to you, but they always say they're too busy to look through the cels and find what you asked for? How do you handle these situations?

Do you wait a certain number of months, and if you still haven't heard about your offer, try again? Do you send "gentle push" emails to try to get the lot winner on track? Do you avoid any of these actions because you think it's bad or rude? What do you think is the right thing to do when you really, really want a cel?

[Nene]

Ah, this scenario rings a bell.

The most memorable scenario for me was a few years back when someone said they had obtained something for me and kept making up excuses for not scanning it (when they regularly updated their gallery with scans). Eventually a similar item to what they described appeared in their gallery and after months of waiting and no email replies, I sent a final email to say "it's ok, I know you kept it, etc etc". Got a snotty reply back which even implied I had some kind of severe mental illness but I knew at that point I wasn't going to get it anyway. If there's one thing to really ruin the air between collectors, it's lies and falsehoods like these. It happens but I think ultimately I'd rather know who the people not to trust are.

Never been in a situation with someone going quiet over a cel lot but I'd say you can't go wrong with a gentle reminder type of email when there's no response for a few months.

[sensei]

Speaking for myself, I would not be offended by a polite "prod-prod" reminder, as sincere offers to share or accept offers can sometimes get lost very quickly at busy times in my life. Plus my email service has changed spam filters, so it's possible that some messages I used to get (e.g., through aol.com) are now being occasionally or routinely blocked. So it's just possible that there's some missed communication. I'd say send a short, polite reminder and see what happens.

On the other hand, I've had my share of "I'll really really get back to you as soon as ..." messages, more often about matters dealing with other things (such as summer jobs, lecture opportunities, and so on) Many times people will just change their minds and decide that they just don't want to get involved. But, not wanting to cause bad feelings, they will "string along" the other person for a long time, waiting for them to wise up to the message that it just is not gonna happen. Depending on how much I want it, I might prod the other person twice, three times if I know him or her well and really want it. But after three times I get the message and back off. Yeah, calling them on it is likely to get a "How dare you!!!" response, so I generally don't. After all, they're just trying to be pleasant.

But in my own practice, if I don't want to take an offer or share a lot I've gotten, I'll be a honest self-righteous prick right up front and say so. Actually, I think that saves hurt feelings down the road when the other person that you've strung along (justifiably) senses that you've been lying to them.

Heh. I've wanted to use that particular smiley for years.

[star-phoenix]

I have had 2 very memorable instances where my e-mails were ignored.

1). It was for a Transformer cel I inquired about from someone. I offered an outrageous price for it even for that time, and they did not respond. So, I just moved on. About a year later (after all the prices on cels significantly dropped in value) asking if I was interested and wanted me to pay the same outrageous price I offered back then even though that cel was now worth maybe 1/3 the value. I just graciously declined and moved on....

2). This one really irked me most of all. There was a cel on Ebay I REALLY REALLY wanted. The guy did not really know what they had and when I e-maield asking some questions regarding the item condition, etdc (this was a Disney cel), he began asking me about market value or how much I paid for one of my cels that they were selling the sister cel of. I was STUPID enough to be honest wit them. So, they decided to ont he last minute pull all the auctions off. I inquired about the cel that I wanted and even gave them a very fair offer. They just flat out ignored me. I tried again a year later to see if they would respond. Still nothing. 5 years later, I come to find out they turned and sold it to a dealer for nearly 1/2 the price I offered to them at the time, and that dealer sold it off already. I was VERY annoyed to hear about that . . . . . But, oh well . . . I have found so many other amazing treasures since then!!

[pixie_princess]

I'll admit, I'm a bit forgetful at times...With three kids and tons of school related stuff to deal with (and murphy's law) it's a bit too easy to get side tracked at times. I'd rather get a friendly reminder from the person I'm buying or selling to Prods don't bug me, and I've done my fair share of nudging others who expressed interest in buying something from me in the past

[cutiebunny]

I've only been led on once (I think). It happened several years ago when a Sailor Moon collector who is no longer around was clearing out her gallery. I wanted a particular cel of Usagi, and I sent her an offer that, at the time, was very high for that particular cel. The first response I received was an "Okay, I'll sell it to you." and then a couple of hours I received a response of "Oh, I received a counter-offer for X. I will sell it to them if you don't offer more." I sent another offer because I really want that cel, and then received an e-mail a day later regarding that the other seller had sent a counteroffer that was higher than mine. That was kind of it for me. I can understand wanting to get the most for your cel, but when you initially agree to sell the item for a certain price only to re-nig and ask for a counteroffer leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I think part of the reason why I've only had one bad experience is because I hardly ask about items in other galleries. The only exceptions are items in galleries where there have been no updates for years, or if someone advertises that they're taking offers. But although I enjoy looking at other galleries, I try not to pine over the items in those galleries. I figure that they're there for a reason, and if the owner doesn't want them anymore that they'll sell it.

I don't think I ever have led anyone on, and if I have, I apologize. I know there are things that I've forgotten about, but usually, the only inquries I receive are regarding Sailor Moon stuff. No one asks me about my CCS or original artwork sections.

[sensei]

No one asks me about my CCS or original artwork sections.

[ReiTheJelly]

I know a lot of people have their RS e-mails set to their "junk" accounts, so it doesn't really bother me anymore when I don't get replies back.


If I've had a conversation with someone before, I don't mind prods. I have absolutely awful memory, so I appreciate the reminders. (no joke, but frequently I will think of something I need to do inside the house just as I'm pulling into my driveway. By the time I've walked to my front door and unlocked it, I've completely forgotten what it was I wanted to accomplish. It's rather worrying sometimes, given my age...)

[Rekka Alexiel]

I know I am horrible when it comes to remembering to do something. Often when I don't have time to respond to an E-mail, I'll plan on doing it after work, but then forget to do it at all...and by that point, it's usually completely out of my mind. XP I've received many messages from friends asking if I'm okay and I plan on making a very detailed response LATER, but never get to later. orz Generally though, I try not to take too long between responses, especially if it's something I'm passionate about... but I'm very "out of sight, out of mind". It's probably one of my worst flaws.

[ceogbdd]

I've found that within our lovely little sphere of collecting, at the end of the day, we're all dealing with people - people with lives, responsibilities, distractions, problems, opportunities, and other miscellaneous things that may (for better or for worse) impede either communications or transactions with a buyer/seller.

I, for one, am absolutely INCESSANT when it comes to tracking down & pursuing a piece in which I'm greatly interested. As some here can surely attest, I'll go to great lengths to work out a deal - I'll email regularly and submit offers consistently (as time and excess funding permits, at least), but under no circumstances do I choose to devolve to rudeness or puffery, even when clearly ignored outright. Sure, I may continue to be incessant, and chances are, I will. But I try my very best to at least remain civil, and to recognize (despite myself) that others have a whole lot going on, too.

I may be dismissed or ignored; I may dismiss and ignore myself, or I may get too caught up in real life for my own good. Minds may change on both sides of a deal; collectors may move in & out of the collecting world; people forget and carry on, and sporadic or ongoing communication may unravel or stop entirely. But this is the hobby at its most beautifully entertaining: a treasure hunt, in which there's bound to be boulders. At least these rocks are wholly harmless.

And at the end of the day, we're just a bunch of kids collecting stuff...no use getting all twitchy over stuff. Sure, we're devoted and impassioned. But let's keep our feet firmly planted on terra firma.

It may be my idealistic approach to this community, but what I feel we must ALWAYS remember that this is a community of people first, and a collectors' market second. I enjoy the chase and the collegial nature of the thing above all else. The minute I start thinking otherwise, I'll pack up my stuff & start sellin'.

Except the ThunderCats stuff. That stuff stays *right here.*

[Frosty]

Oh, oh, are you talking about me?
I remember getting two mails asking for cels in my gallery a long time ago, but I think I did not reply until now. I am very lazy with mails that are not urgent and so they go down and down and down in my inbox. Of course there is no reasonable chance that I part with my cels ^^ but usually I write back to a collector by courtesy because I would expect the same from others

[KuroiTsubasa4]

I know I've gotten questions through feedback where people don't provide an email, so in that case I didn't have a way to reply...

Right now I'm having trouble contacting someone I bought some cels from but they live on Staten Island...I'm getting worried about whether or not the seller is ok... I hope it's just a case of their power still being out. Any Staten Islanders on this forum?

[Lain]

I have had 2 very memorable instances where my e-mails were ignored.

1). It was for a Transformer cel I inquired about from someone. I offered an outrageous price for it even for that time, and they did not respond. So, I just moved on. About a year later (after all the prices on cels significantly dropped in value) asking if I was interested and wanted me to pay the same outrageous price I offered back then even though that cel was now worth maybe 1/3 the value. I just graciously declined and moved on....

2). This one really irked me most of all. There was a cel on Ebay I REALLY REALLY wanted. The guy did not really know what they had and when I e-maield asking some questions regarding the item condition, etdc (this was a Disney cel), he began asking me about market value or how much I paid for one of my cels that they were selling the sister cel of. I was STUPID enough to be honest wit them. So, they decided to ont he last minute pull all the auctions off. I inquired about the cel that I wanted and even gave them a very fair offer. They just flat out ignored me. I tried again a year later to see if they would respond. Still nothing. 5 years later, I come to find out they turned and sold it to a dealer for nearly 1/2 the price I offered to them at the time, and that dealer sold it off already. I was VERY annoyed to hear about that . . . . . But, oh well . . . I have found so many other amazing treasures since then!!

My heart goes out to you!