Useful Work Phrases

[JWR]

Useful Work Phrases



1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean your an artist.

3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the misconceptions I had about you.

11. It's a thankless job, but I have a lot of Karma to burn off.

12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

13. No, I can only use my powers for good.

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

16. You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.

17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind , but feel free to leave a message.

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. Who me ? I just wander from room to room.

21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at a cellular level I'm really quite busy.

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

25. I see you've set aside this specialtime to humiliate yourself in public.

26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

[In_Gabriel_We_Trust]

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

Idiot-magnet is the one I use.

[zerospace]

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

Idiot-magnet is the one I use.

That's close to what I use... Moron-magnet... hehehe

[yoshito]

Hmm, two I use at work.

*History*
I have a yo-yo on my desk, mandatory for programming. A while ago my co-worker friend had a yo-yo on his desk. Asked him what it was used for and he explained that it takes his mind off of the "looping of ideas" for de-bugging and most of the time the answer hits him while entranced by doing tricks. Tried it a few days and it works (at least for me). So at my new job, I had to bring it in.

*Line I use*

You know, history shows that the yo-yo was used as a weapon for some tribes...

Another line I use:

"Sorry, so much time and so little to do."

[Ashura]

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

One of my co-workers

2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean your an artist.

My Oldest brother

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

My postal guy....that's why I use Kuj's P.O. Box for 2 months now

15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

My sister

16. You sound reasonable. Time to up the medication.
25. I see you've set aside this specialtime to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

My boyfriend

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

Sums me up perfectly

[Hakiri]

LMAO!! XD

I love this one:

26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

[aernath]

5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

YES!!!

11. It's a thankless job, but I have a lot of Karma to burn off.

Garnered an ironic laugh from both myself and my husband. Too true to be truely funny.

12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

and dancing together!!!
Actually, I just do the fun duties.

21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

Wait.... you've seen my workspace!

22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at a cellular level I'm really quite busy.

My version: It might look like I'm doing nothing, but that's because I'm efficient and have already done everything for today.

[Baakay]

Useful Work Phrases


18. I'm out of my mind , but feel free to leave a message.

I actually have one of those little window-sucker things on the window of my office that says "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

[Not Sir Phobos]

Since I assign how much our technitions get paid from the mother company, and am responsible for backflagging our techs, I have a poster in my office from Despar inc. that reads "You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor". There is a picture of the great pyramids above the text

[aernath]

Ooo! You mean we can add our own?

One sticker on my computer at work says: "I am a team player. You're just not on my team."

[kittens]

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

This is me when I am teaching

[transmet]

Some others:

I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

I'm sorry, do I resemble your therapist?

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

[sailorsv13]

I'm going to have to try some of these out...

~ Bri ~