Scientific Explanation of Hell

[transmet]

My mother recently sent this to me and I thought I'd pass it on to you guys. This sounds like a classic (although I'd never heard it before), so some may have already read/heard it before (sensei?), as well as may question its legitimacy.

Either way, for those who haven't... enjoy!

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Subject: Scientific Explanation of Hell

~The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer given by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which, of course, is why we all now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

~Most of the students wrote proofs based on their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it stays there. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their particular religion, you will go to Hell. Since it is obvious that it would seem to be paradoxical to belong to more than one of these religions, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, 'it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you', and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true. Thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it cannot be accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why Teresa kept shouting, 'Oh my God'!!!"









The student apparently received the only "A".

[Cloud]

Tell me more about your mother. Interesting explanation. Not obvious to me.

[transmet]

Tell me more about your mother.

I'll have you know my mother's a saint!
(A saint.... with a sailor's tongue and a Law degree. )

[Cloud]

Oh.

[Baakay]

That was a funny one, all the way down. I was both impressed by the argument and giggling at the clever insertion of our favorite cliches...

And then I got to the LAST part and seriously hooted!! Good thing it's time for the kids to get up anyway, because I laughed loud enough to wake 'em...

Thanks for a great start to the day!!

[kittens]

LOL This is cool

BTW, transmet I love your avatar

[Cloud]

I am glad you find this funny. I think rollin This is a lot of things.

[Okuni]

I loved that, transmet! Thanks for sharing! (yeah, belated. sorry!)
the last part was especially good.

Tell me more about your mother.

I'll have you know my mother's a saint!
(A saint.... with a sailor's tongue and a Law degree. )

Oh.

I do believe the robot got PWNed!