For those who have male children most likely alread know these facts like:
01.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
02.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
03.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
04.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
05.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
06.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
07.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
08.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
09.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "P B & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Raising Young Boys
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JWR
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Raising Young Boys
"Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." Harlan Ellison
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Cloud
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I am so delighted that you are amused, NARUTO92.
The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
Re: Raising Young Boys
Dammit.... how'd you know??JWR wrote:25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Cloud
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Cool, man. I'm delightedyou're glad Joost. Your happiness adds to the delight of all.The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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Baakay
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Re: Raising Young Boys
Cats throw up twice their body weight at ANY provocation whatsoever!!JWR wrote:23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
.
I have a skid in my laundry room right now to prove it
"The permanent temptation of life is to confuse dreams with reality. The permanent defeat of life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality."
James A. Michener, The Drifters
James A. Michener, The Drifters
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OnWingedFeet
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