Things You Should Know Before You're 50

[JWR]

"Things You Should Know Before You're 50"

1. Never under any circumstances take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same
night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the
reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve its full potential, that
word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby"
and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious
views with you almost never want you to
share yours with them.

5. And when G~d, who created the entire
universe with all of its glories, decides to
deliver a message to humanity, He WILL
NOT use, as His messenger, a person on
cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with
your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will
find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives
a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just
get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the
cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe
is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give
you a clear and compelling reason why we
observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman
that even remotely suggests that you think
she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should
stop expecting other people to make a big
deal about your birthday. That time is age
thirteen.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic
status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are
above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all
organized protests is to annoy people who
are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to
the waiter, is not a nice person.

19. Your friends love you anyway.

[Keropi]

>>>14. You should never say anything to a woman
that even remotely suggests that you think
she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.<<<

I almost made the mistake of doing that once.

Good thing I held back because all she had done was gain a lot of weight in a two year time span.

Here's a couple more serious ones:

----If you want to begin an outdoor active hobby be sure to start when you're younger. It's a LOT harder to do the same stuff later when you're already out of shape and inflexible.

----If you want to see the BEST view through a telescope that you're ever going to see be sure to peer through the telescope before the age of 30 to 35. Anything past that and your dark adapted vision is going to be seriously going downhill.

[Cloud]

For moral reasons?

[Baakay]

"Things You Should Know Before You're 50"

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby"
and "mental illness."

Hey! HEY! HEY!!

I resemble that remark.

(and the small fry walks past, asks why I'm hooting loudly and says, "why of course, Mom. It's a good thing that you read this NOW, before your birthday!")

[aernath]

10. Never lick a steak knife.

Actually, just be careful when you do. Learned that one the hard way too.


Baakay. Gotta love the kids, right?


Right?

I thought hobby=obsession?

19. Your friends love you anyway.

And I thank God that they do!

[JWR]

(and the small fry walks past, asks why I'm hooting loudly and says, "why of course, Mom. It's a good thing that you read this NOW, before your birthday!")

And I had to share since a "friend" sent this to me knowing I'll reach that milestone in a few months from now.

[transmet]

13. You will never find anybody who can give
you a clear and compelling reason why we
observe daylight savings time.

To save the candlewax (stuff doesn't grow on trees, ya know ).

[wELCOME cONSUMER]

13. You will never find anybody who can give
you a clear and compelling reason why we
observe daylight savings time.

To save the candlewax (stuff doesn't grow on trees, ya know ).

That's actually a long standing myth. In 1784, Ben Franklin wrote a satirical letter to the Journal of Paris, clearly implying that the French should not adopt the system because a tax would've been levied against people who had their curtains drawn during daylight hours. He thought it was ridiculous. In general, supporters of daylight savings cite the practice as energy conservation, but opponents say the benefit is too minimal for the disruption it causes.

The first time daylight savings was actually used was by the Germans during WW I. The UK, Newfoundland and the USA followed (1916-1918). So it's a fairly recent phenomenon.

[Cloud]

You are wrong. I may one day be able to do find anybody who can give
you a clear and compelling reason why we
observe daylight savings time.

[dave1999artwork]

I dunno about things you should do before you are fifty... i have a friend who is 55, is a diabetic, i recall recently saying to him he should make a list of ten things to do before da reaper comes to the door to deliver the package, he doesn't saying anything about it...

Before I left for college, they sent us an assignment to do over the summer before enrolment- on the second day of arrival, they made just showcase our stuff to everyone, and then basically said 'the work you did over the summer is now expendable..'
10 things to do before you die
10 things that scare you
10 things you know but don't want any other chump to know
10 films yer like
10 favourite CD covers, etc

for '10 things to do before you die, i chose duh following'-

*sing a song (worth singing)
*live in a hoose (house)
*bungee jump from the golden gate bridge
*try something freaky like bondage or s&m
*learn to moonwalk like a diva (if only for one night)
*die peacefully
*get a tattoo
*try LSD

I couldn't think of the other two.