Never heard it put quite this way before!) And God Create

starlightx · Post by **starlightx** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:51 am

Never heard it put quite this way before!)
And God Created...

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs

RoboFlonne · Post by **RoboFlonne** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 11:08 am

starlightx wrote:Never heard it put quite this way before!)
And God Created...

Cel collecting.

thus man no longer could afford the big mac. And now eats Ramen and the occasional strawberry cheesecake.

Not Sir Phobos · Post by **Not Sir Phobos** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 11:10 am

Which one created hot tubs?

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Wed Feb 07, 2007 11:10 am

The small one, I think.

Baakay · Post by **Baakay** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:55 am

And there you have it: as usual Cloud wraps it all up

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:55 am

"There you go again. "--Reagan

otakusin · Post by **otakusin** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 6:08 pm

Thanks for the good laugh!!

aernath · Post by **aernath** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 6:32 pm

Oh! Oh dang! I think I spilled my powdered doughnut!!!

That's priceless!!!!!
THANK YOU for posting that! *wipes tears from eyes from laughing so hard*
*husband can still be heard chuckling to himself about it*

Anime-Beta TNG

Never heard it put quite this way before!) And God Create

Never heard it put quite this way before!) And God Create

Re: Never heard it put quite this way before!) And God Cr