I can't take it anymore; officially falling apart. update

[Xelloss]

OK, it's bad enough my engagement fell apart. It's bad that I have to move out. It's awful that the reason I gave up my career and moved across the country is gone. It's horrible that I moved here for someone who's told me that I'm not worth the ring.

It's even worse that my ex has turned into a obsessive stalker-type. I've no place to go, he's constantly in my face, and I'm trapped in this house packing alone. I have no friends here, everyone is too busy to fly in and help, including my family. I don't fault them for this, I've several relatives in the hospital and the rest are taking care of them.

Now he just posted a list of items on my door that he's ruined and I can't find. Most of the ruination was intentional (i.e. using my mop in acid to dissolve paint on a floor!) and a lot of the things were treasured long-time memories that can't be replaced. It's like he's not only ruined my present, but has also completely trashed by past.

I've been trying so hard to keep it together and stay positive, but that was the final straw on my sanity. I'm trying to keep it together, I need to pack and move out in a week somehow, and I only can pack when he's either asleep or gone. There are times when I'm fearing my safety, and I have no place to go other than a hotel -- which isn't condusive to packing.

I just can't take this insanity anymore, and I don't know what to do.



- Karen

[vampyreshoujo]

Hugs! Hugs! Lots and lots of hugs!



I'm sorry you're having to go through so much crap. You're ex sounds really scary. Is there any kind of legal auction you can take against him? Perhaps a restraining order or some such thing? Not only is he causing you mental anguish but he's destroying your property too. I say call the police on him. Or, y'know, put some sort of voodoo curse on him...

ETA: Oooo! Even better! Let kittens go after him with her katana.

[Xelloss]

Is it possible to even get a restraining order when you are in the same house as someone?

[mightymask]

Hang in there - I know things look pretty bleak right now but it's just a test for you - I know for a fact that things will get better - Guaranteed -

[Ms. Poe]

What is it with this month and relationship woes?!?!?!

YES. You can get a restraining order against the person you live with. You'll have to go to the courts/city hall to have it figured out.

Sorry to hear about all your troubles. I have them too, but hopefully they'll work out.

Come to my place and we'll get trashed, and have some fun ^^'!

[vampyreshoujo]

Is it possible to even get a restraining order when you are in the same house as someone?

I... haven't the faintest idea.... Is what I was going to say, but, apparently, you can as per Ms. Poe.

I didn't realize you were living in the same house together.... that does put you in quite an awkward pinch.

[Crystal]

I don't know if this will be much help but get the phone book and look up social service organizations in the yellow pages. You might also look under the crisis intervention service listing. That's the sort of thing they will specialize in and should be able to get a volunteer to help you move out. They probably have access to free legal help as well. You can also get free consultations from many lawyers over the phone. You can always go to the police too. There's no reason you should have to put up with that kind of crap.

Hang in there!

[Cloud]

Thank you Crystal you look very nice too.

[Crystal]

Thank you Crystal you look very nice too.

Cloud, you shameless flatterer, you!

[grEenLeaFx]

Wow I am so sorry to hear about this. Just hang in there because I'm sure things will get better down the road for you no matter how crazy things are right now. A good friend of mine once said there are chapters in people's lives. It sounds you are fixing to start a new chapter in yours. We are all wishing you the best.

[Xelloss]

After reading websites on restraining orders, it might be better to wait until after I move out and if it is a problem. I'm afraid that it would only make the pre-move situation worse. And unfortunately, my new apartment complex has delayed my ability to move in time and time again. At this point, I'll paint the walls for them, just let me in... the last family moved out at the end of LAST month...



- Karen

[kittens]

ETA: Oooo! Even better! Let kittens go after him with her katana.

Yeah I will cut him into parts

Yeah if I were you I would go to a police department and take restraining order. Also you sould keep all records what he did. Try to collect all evidence of his action. You might need them later (sueing him or what-ever).

I know someone who basically get tossed out like a trash after a couple years. Now she lives in a shelter b/c her husband kicked her out. So she has a baby and no cash. We tried to hire an attorney and she said we should keep all records as much as we can.

Also your safety is the most important thing. If you feel that you are in danger (many climes occur in couples/domentic violence). So I do feel that you might move out as soon as possible.

Also there are many local service (I think for free) to take care of these domentic vilolence cases. Even though they are not phisical these incidents might be considered domestic violence...... So if you need really help, you might want to talk to a local pshycologist. If you meet a pshycologis, you should keep all records, and get a letter from them. They might be all evidence.

[Baakay]

Absolutely follow Kittens' advice. My gosh, sweetie, the last thing you need to happen on top of everything else is to have him get violent, and it sure sounds like that's where things might be headed.

Mop in acid? that's dangerous.
Talk to the police, talk to the courts, talk to domestic violence people, but get the HELL out as soon as you can.

What a miserable thing.


But you know we're all here for you, ok?

[tex-chan]

I just want to echo what others have said here ... I'm so sorry this situation is happening to you. What a horrible thing to go through, and, most especially, to go through it alone.

You should not tarry in that house. I know you mentioned your apartment was not yet ready, and I'm not sure of your financial situation ... but it would be better to grab as much stuff as you can and head to a motel or something, rather than risk staying in such close proximity to someone who (it seems) might easily turn physically violent. I realize that, by doing this, you risk him ruining more of your stuff ... but stuff can be replaced. A life can not.

Also, you should check into a restraining order as soon as possible. You may be able to find a legal aid-type place or a women's center that can help you with this for free or very reduced cost. I realize you feel this might delay your move further ... but, again, your safety is the most important thing right now. Also, as someone else pointed out, a volunteer from the center can at least go to your house and help you pack --- so you would at least have someone there to help you go through this mess.

I hope things work out for you, that you stay safe, and that you can get through this. *sending huge hugs*

[kamidake]

*Hugs*

Karen, if you for any reason seriously think he's going to hurt you, grab your essentials and GET OUT. No need to linger in the house if he's a threat. Things can be replaced. Although I don't understand why he turned psycho when it sounded like he's the one who dissolved the engagement, not you. Men are strange creatures.

If you have trouble moving, I wonder if there're moving companies that would help pack too... In anycase, just grab things that can't be easily replaced and move out as soon as possible. Take couples of days off of work and pack when he's at work, what would be 8 solid hours of psycho free time.

If you need help, pm me, I'm in Seattle. Hang in there. *hugs*