Uh oh..it's going to get brutal now

kymaera · Post by **kymaera** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:47 pm

Baakay's daughter just took Baakay's last ding-dong. Blood will flow! People have died for less.

Baakay · Post by **Baakay** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:55 pm

I would laugh except that the ding-dong was not the issue, and you know it.

The issue was one all of us parent-types have to deal with eventually, which is the once-lovely child looking us straight in the face and lying about something totally retarded.

*sigh*

I didn't know whether to laugh at her for not picking a better thing to lie about, or to slap her sharply across the face to get her attention.

Instead, I just said "remember all the times you've whined that we don't trust you? the next time you're about to do that again, remember this incident."

We'll see if our "brilliant" daughter (so-called by the teachers) can get it together one of these days.

shellie · Post by **shellie** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 8:56 pm

oops... had a retort to kymaera in there, but Kay beat me with her serious response!

Go, mom, go!

Baakay · Post by **Baakay** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 9:15 pm

Moms gotta stick together

The worst part is we know where it's coming from, and part of the issue is generational. As I just told Kymaera, we would have been pulped and juiced for lying about something as trivial as a ding-dong. But the Best Friend regularly "takes things" and misbehaves in ways that barely qualify her for civilized status (in my view) and has no boundaries. Her mom is basically a dope. (A lovely, pleasant, well-meaning dope but a dope nonetheless who has not a clue in the world how to teach her kids survival skills).

Oh well. You can pick your nose but you can't pick your kids' friends' nose. Or something.

Oh, I should mention this also comes on a day where I got to spend 2 hours in the company of the Candidate from the Black Lagoon. The Dead Fish applicant (there's always one, you know? no personality whatsoever and/or totally unable to answer a question).

Lynxa · Post by **Lynxa** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:22 pm

Ugh, welcome to the first buds of teenagedom! Sip sweetly from the nectar of childhood because your kid is about to be very very angry for the next decade or so!

That sounds like my sister.

She still lies about stupid things just for the sake of lying (I honestly don't know if she even realizes she does it any more). She's 23 now

And yes, it is a result of my parents not giving her ANY boundaries when she was a kid (she's the youngest

).

I absolutely agree that lying is a HUGE deal, no matter what it is about. I would have been skinned alive for looking my mom in the face and lying!!!

...come to think of it, MSN had a good article about why kids lie a couple of days ago.....

sailorsv13 · Post by **sailorsv13** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:27 pm

I agree. Well, I'm not quite grown up yet still but I understand where you are coming from. If I so much as thought of a little white lie I was grounded for a week! And what is odd is that my parents were quite strict with me (and rightfully so because I've turned out pretty good ^.^), however they let my little brother get away with EVERYTHING! It is unbelievable! And so unfair...but I am a little too old for complaining about the fairness of things ^_~

~ Bri ~

Lynxa · Post by **Lynxa** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:50 pm

sailorsv13 wrote:And so unfair...but I am a little too old for complaining about the fairness of things ^_~

~ Bri ~

Oh honey, you're never too old for THAT!!!

Baakay · Post by **Baakay** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:51 pm

sailorsv13 wrote:however they let my little brother get away with EVERYTHING! It is unbelievable! And so unfair...but I am a little too old for complaining about the fairness of things ^_~

~ Bri ~

Oh heck no. Both the Spouzal Unit and I are eldest children. I probably complained about my brother and sister having more leeway than I did until I was 25

If not older.

Took me a long time to realize that they got theirs too, just in different ways *evil grin*

sailorsv13 · Post by **sailorsv13** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:54 pm

*More evil grins* In a sick awful way I can't wait for my brother to get his as well!

~ Bri ~

kittens · Post by **kittens** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 10:58 pm

ding-dong????

Would someone give a clueless mathematician some hints????

klet · Post by **klet** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:29 am

It's like a chocolate cake filled with cream and surrounded by chocolate frosting. They fit in your hand and are wrapped in foil.

http://www.twinkies.com/dingdongs.asp

Little lies like this are just what kids do. They think they're going to get in trouble for what they've done, so they cover it up. They don't realize yet that this is probably worse than what they did in the first place. Of course, that doesn't make it right, so she really does need to learn.

It's kind of like all of the people who steal from our community fridge in the dorm. If you want a glass of milk, I'll give you some--just ask!!

The worst is when they do something you'll obviously realize--like opening the carton or taking the last of it. Come on people.

Cloud · Post by **Cloud** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:29 am

What people?

Baakay · Post by **Baakay** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 6:21 am

klet wrote:Little lies like this are just what kids do. :

No, really?

(<-- baakay as a kid)

If she was still a "kid" developmentally, I wouldn't even bat an eye over the ding-dong. BUT... This particular incident was one of a string of low-level misbehaviors involving dishonesty of various types that started cropping up lately.

We're faced with an inescapable fact: there's no possibility that anything occurred other than one of them did X. Both of them deny doing X. Therefore, one of them is fibbing. Explain the situation and how much easier it will be if one of them just fesses up. "Come ON, people," is *exactly* what I was thinking when I was looking Ms. Angelic and her sister in the face last night.

The 7 year old understands this. When you're in a place where it's pitifully and painfully obvious that you're lying, it's better to just say "yeah, it was me, sorry." 10-going-on-17, though, who has been doing the "budding" for about eight months now

is sneaky about it.

Between the "beat the kids" approach of my parents' generation (which was not considered child abuse at the time) and the do-nothing approach of the Best Friends' mom, there has got to be a happy medium. I'm just not sure what it is, because I was the recipient of the beat-em-up stuff and never had a more appropriate behavior modeled for me.

What I DO know is that this kid has more potential than half the other people I know in the world, including myself. I want her to learn how BEST to take advantage of these wonderful gifts she has, and learning behaviors that are going to make the adults in her life distrustful of her is not one of those ways. Like it or not.

*sigh* dang, life sux sometimes. It'll get even better down the road awhile from now, when we reach the "do as I say, not as I did" place. We've already had the tobacco discussion, that one was easy. But....

klet · Post by **klet** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 9:41 am

What always made me feel the worst is when my mom gave me a "talk." She'd always tell me how she knows how much potential I have and how she knows I can do better. It was always sprinkled with a few "I love you"s. Augh, just thinking about it is kind of depressing. But we both always ended up crying, so I imagine it was tough on her, too.

I don't have kids--*looks at her age* Gee, I wonder why?

-- What my parents try with the other kids is taking something that they enjoy away for a small period of time. One brother, they ground for a couple of weeks. He's the social butterfly--football player, hangs out with cheerleading types (all of their screen names on AIM involve the word "pink"

--I'm gonna hate my future sister-in-law). The other one is autistic, and they take away his video games. Now, all my dad has to do to get him to behave--at least for a little while--is mimic playing on a controller, then mimic cutting his throat. Works great for church, or so my dad says.

Actually, they've really mellowed over the years. The littler kids get away with a lot more than us older kids used to. But at the same time, they do toughen up when it comes to the teenage years.

Just some ideas. Take 'em or leave 'em.

Shampoo · Post by **Shampoo** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 10:03 am

Despite what ppl say about Latin moms lol not all of em
beat their children mercilessly. :hitting:

My mom just gave me 1 glare and I knew I was done for
Im a terrible liar /wah

even worse if its geared to fool
my mom.

That was enough to get me in line when I was a kid..
my mom is scary when she's mad! My ears bleed from all
the Castilian curse words lol!