Master Sun Tsu's forgotten Quotes

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usamamo
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Master Sun Tsu's forgotten Quotes

Post by usamamo »

:) *giggles* I found these in a box today whilst doing some cleaning and I had a few giggles. So I wanted to share them with you and see if they make you giggle too :)


....................................................................


Master Sun Tsu's forgotten Quotes.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just #$%^ off and leave me alone!

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. It is always darkest before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, thats the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6. Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

9. It is far more impressive when other discover your good qualities without your help.

10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. Giva a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink all day.

14. If you lend someone $20, and never see it again, it was probably worth it.

15. Don't squat with your spurs on.

16. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

17. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.



There. Hope you got a laugh from it too.

Before I go I have one more joke, it is pretty lame but hay.....

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?! :P
" I'm Usagi Tsukino, 16 years old...in the first year of high school. I'm a bit rash and a crybaby...but, I'm actually an agent of love and justice....pretty Sailor Soldier, Sailor Moon"
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aernath
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Re: Master Sun Tsu's forgotten Quotes

Post by aernath »

usamamo wrote:8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
*DING*
I've found my purpose in life!!! :bny :bny :bny :bny :bny
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Then again, it may not.
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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aernath
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Post by aernath »

Cloud wrote:Then again, it may not.
Awwww, poot Cloud! Way to pop my balloon. :x
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

Then what is it?
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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aernath
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Post by aernath »

Well heck, how should I know? You just shot down my best idea. :?
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sailorsv13
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Post by sailorsv13 »

I LOVE the duct tape one! I've heard that before and is one of those jokes that people I know have heard me tell a thousand times ^.^ *Star Wars Geek*
:crazy

~ Bri ~
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usamamo
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Post by usamamo »

I like

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake


That is so my story.
" I'm Usagi Tsukino, 16 years old...in the first year of high school. I'm a bit rash and a crybaby...but, I'm actually an agent of love and justice....pretty Sailor Soldier, Sailor Moon"
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Re: Master Sun Tsu's forgotten Quotes

Post by Okuni »

aernath wrote:
usamamo wrote:8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
*DING*
I've found my purpose in life!!! :bny :bny :bny :bny :bny
aww..gee.
And I thought I was the only one that applied to!

I guess this is right too:
6. Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.

Well, I'm the warning in my community, so there! :P :D
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ZombieBunny
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Post by ZombieBunny »

16. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people. :dban :bny :hitting:
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Post by litl_x »

14. If you lend someone $20, and never see it again, it was probably worth it.

:? How true How true!!!!lol
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Post by kittens »

13. Giva a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink all day.


:rollin This is soooooooooooooooooo true :P :P
Cats rule!
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Cloud
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Post by Cloud »

What are the advantages to being 13 years old?
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The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
-I, Robot (Asimov)
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aernath
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Post by aernath »

Cloud wrote:What are the advantages to being 13 years old?
No bills
No responsibilities
You can safely act your age
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Not Sir Phobos
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Post by Not Sir Phobos »

4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
:l
God's in his heaven, All's right with the world
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