Love Problems (Part II)

SS Kakarot · Post by **SS Kakarot** » Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:28 pm

First, thanks everyone for the kind posts!

Not Sir Phobos wrote:Send her some wine and a card saying " Yo baby, I love your flava,
ride wit me next weekend for some grub cause I got tha scrilla"

mightymask wrote:If you're serious about this - Here is the solution to your dilemma http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veae4gU9 ... re=related

You guys are too funny, serious I can't stop laughing!

Ms. Poe wrote:If she won't think it creepy...Show up at her house with a small gift, and tell her how you feel. Do it on the night of a snowfall...If you live in a snow area. It would be o so romantic.

I doubt that it will snow here this year, it almost never does, that would be great though!
I do think she would find it creepy if I showed up at her house all of a sudden, so I'd better not do that.

Ms. Poe wrote:Hard to say how she'll react not knowing what rough times she went through...

RoboFlonne wrote:What are her interests? What kind of rough times is she going through?

Her Uncle was sick, passed away a few weeks later, and she had broken up with her boyfriend, but the boyfriend got mad about that, so I could understand that she had no need for my attention at that time.

I think that the boyfriend thing is totally over now, as she has not talked about him since, and she still is single.
She seems to have a lot of friends (and like I said, she goes out a lot), so I doubt that she will be single for long, and I think that she does want a new love in her life as she often has MSN names that have something to do with love.
She also once said 'I always pick the wrong guys', and I thought to myself why doesn't she pick me, no one can love her as much, and I really doubt she can find someone who loved her ten years ago!:sweatdrop

RoboFlonne wrote:I think you should give the card! It's who you are and you thought of it yourself. It's your personality and not someone elses!

But I think you need to go to her and deliver it in person. That gives it a special twist that you care for her and didn't just spend 2 minutes sending out a card. Do things that takes time and make her feel loved.

Well, like I said above, I don't think showing up at her house is a good idea.
I did think about giving the card, but if I put in her mailbox myself she might think I'm to greedy to pay for the stamp.
So I think I'd better just send it.

moonrabitt wrote:Mmm...The story sounds cute ^_^

But Are you sure that she knows? I mean, sometimes I think that people like me, and sometimes I am very nice to other people and they think that I like them but I don't.....So....

I would try to invite her somewhere, to like a X-mas party, or bowling...If a guy showed up at my house with a card I would be freaked out.
If she told you where she lives, then show up with a card or roses...
If you found out where she lives by other means and not by being told by her, she may think that you stalk her....

Either way, I wish you luck ^^

RoboFlonne wrote:Oh yep! Moon rabbit's right...

Don't go anywhere near her house unless she says so. The complete, "I know where you live" thing is very very creepy.

Maybe she'll tell you where she works... See if you guys have anything in common about the kind of jobs you like! ~_^

Thanks for calling it a cute story, and the luck, moonrabbit!

I think she knew it back then and now, I'm afraid I talked to nice to her these last few months.
Maybe she is also just being nice to me on the internet and doesn't care one little bit about me in real life.

Where she lives is another funny story, I moved about a year ago, she asked on MSN if I still lived where I did back then (some family of her lived nearby there, so that's why she must have remembered), I said that I didn't so she asked where now, and it turned out she lives just one street away from where I live.

She acted very surprised, the weird thing is that we have never bumped into each other yet.

She said that she does come by here every now and then, but it's always on a time I'm not outside, or looking out the window.

She works at a supermarket where I never come, so I think it would be too obvious if I showed up there now all of a sudden.

I wouldn't be able to talk with here there anyway.

Carla wrote:Maybe she DOSEN'T like the whole online dating thing???

There are a LOT of CRAZY people out there -------> points to mightymask

Don't rush things too fast just wait to see if she will give you her phone number???

Then go from there Good Luck!!!

Thanks for the luck, I guess the only thing I can do is wait, and hope fate puts us together (for real, not just the internet), or that she at least lets me know if she likes me or not.

glorff wrote:If you know where she works(Better) or lives you should send her something that will make her smile like a cookie boquet or a big bundle of balloons. Sign it with something like "Who do you think would do this" and let her react. No flowers or lovie dovie kind of stuff!

Safe and smiles

Thanks glorff!

I will send her the Christmas Card, and I will ask her about the party next month.
If she doesn't want to go again, and doesn't even send a card back, then I'm afraid I will know enough.

Well thanks again all, I will keep you posted!

Keep the posts coming!

Carla · Post by **Carla** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:35 am

You have known her for a LONG time and you live SO CLOSE to each other

Just tell her how you feel that you would like to be more than friends and see what she says??? In my opinion it should ALWAYS be the guy that asks the girl out you just have to get the courage and ask her out on a date!!!

It's better to take the chance and find out; then not ever knowing

Send the card it will put a smile on her face

buma · Post by **buma** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:13 am

well, here's my take on this after I've read all the posts:

1. if you send a card, don't buy one. If you're a craft-y sort of person, make one, draw one, stamp one, etc... you get the idea. This way it's not just some ol' card out of a shoebox you kept all those free cards we get during the holiday season and it will be special. If you aren't the craft-y type, go find yourself one - either at a craft fair or sometimes art shops will have those as well. Pick out something nice that you like - that way if she likes it too, then all the better.

2. If you've only talked online and haven't seen each other in 10 years, I'd say don't ask her to the Christmas thing - especially if it's work-related. You don't want to expose her to too many 'new' things all at once: your co-workers, you and her together, etc. If she's a 'social butterfly' with her friends as you say, she might feel not comfortable in a room full of strangers, you included (as a person's online persona doesn't necessarily match up with their IRL persona all the time).

3. what I would suggest is that one night you go out for the proverbial cup of coffee - or whatever your drink of choice is. Or a snack, or ice cream, or something more 'fun' - but not dinner (maybe lunch, but not dinner). Is there a 'new' place you've been wanting to try but haven't had a reason to? Or have a hankering for ice cream from such-and-such? Maybe she does too - or be willing to go along with you. As you both live just a few minutes away from each other as well, that just increases the chances of her saying yes.

The reason I say no dinner is that it implies something more serious - going for coffee or ice cream or whatever has a lot lower threshold of intimacy involved, so you'll both have a chance to 'get to know' one another IRL in a much more casual atmosphere. I know that you say you've been in love with this girl going on 13 years now, but she hasn't - so even though it seems you could move a bit more quickly, maybe you shouldn't. Let each of you get reacquainted with each other again before moving on...

another reason for the 'babysteps' and not coming out and telling her straight out that you've been in love with her for 13 years and that you're made for each other is - what if she doesn't feel the same way? Where does it go from there? It's damn near impossible to go back to being just 'friends' when something like this is revealed and it's unrequited. If you take it slowly, you'll get a better reading from her if she really is interested and if you two really mesh together as all life-long-loves should do.

I don't know.. maybe I don't know what I'm talking about... but go with what you feel - if you're true to yourself, you'll have the best judge of what you should do.

best of luck!

glorff · Post by **glorff** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:19 pm

Watch the sale flyers for the supermarket and find a good sale to be your excuse to go there (bring the flyer) and hope you run into her

You won't change her image of you by sending a card, it has to be personal, but safe, for her.

Remember confidence is attractive to most women

SS Kakarot · Post by **SS Kakarot** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:42 pm

Carla wrote:You have known her for a LONG time and you live SO CLOSE to each other

Just tell her how you feel that you would like to be more than friends and see what she says??? In my opinion it should ALWAYS be the guy that asks the girl out you just have to get the courage and ask her out on a date!!! It's better to take the chance and find out; then not ever knowing Send the card it will put a smile on her face

Thanks Carla!

I agree the guy (me unfortunately) needs to ask the girl.
I can't just tell her how I really think about her because I'm too scared that she'll say something I don't want to hear, and then we can't even be internet friends anymore.
The only way I could find out for sure how she thinks about me is probably by meeting her for real.
If she doesn't like my Christmas card then something must be very wrong with her, who wouldn't like to receive a Christmas card?

buma wrote:well, here's my take on this after I've read all the posts:

1. if you send a card, don't buy one. If you're a craft-y sort of person, make one, draw one, stamp one, etc... you get the idea. This way it's not just some ol' card out of a shoebox you kept all those free cards we get during the holiday season and it will be special. If you aren't the craft-y type, go find yourself one - either at a craft fair or sometimes art shops will have those as well. Pick out something nice that you like - that way if she likes it too, then all the better.

Thanks for the post buma!

I can't make it myself, so I will look for a nice one, and hope she likes it too.

buma wrote:2. If you've only talked online and haven't seen each other in 10 years, I'd say don't ask her to the Christmas thing - especially if it's work-related. You don't want to expose her to too many 'new' things all at once: your co-workers, you and her together, etc. If she's a 'social butterfly' with her friends as you say, she might feel not comfortable in a room full of strangers, you included (as a person's online persona doesn't necessarily match up with their IRL persona all the time).

3. what I would suggest is that one night you go out for the proverbial cup of coffee - or whatever your drink of choice is. Or a snack, or ice cream, or something more 'fun' - but not dinner (maybe lunch, but not dinner). Is there a 'new' place you've been wanting to try but haven't had a reason to? Or have a hankering for ice cream from such-and-such? Maybe she does too - or be willing to go along with you. As you both live just a few minutes away from each other as well, that just increases the chances of her saying yes.

The reason I say no dinner is that it implies something more serious - going for coffee or ice cream or whatever has a lot lower threshold of intimacy involved, so you'll both have a chance to 'get to know' one another IRL in a much more casual atmosphere. I know that you say you've been in love with this girl going on 13 years now, but she hasn't - so even though it seems you could move a bit more quickly, maybe you shouldn't. Let each of you get reacquainted with each other again before moving on...

another reason for the 'babysteps' and not coming out and telling her straight out that you've been in love with her for 13 years and that you're made for each other is - what if she doesn't feel the same way? Where does it go from there? It's damn near impossible to go back to being just 'friends' when something like this is revealed and it's unrequited. If you take it slowly, you'll get a better reading from her if she really is interested and if you two really mesh together as all life-long-loves should do.

I don't know.. maybe I don't know what I'm talking about... but go with what you feel - if you're true to yourself, you'll have the best judge of what you should do.

best of luck!

There is not much to do in this crazy town, only some very busy bars/clubs where I never go.
There's nothing here like Starbucks, or Nero, little stuff like that.

I'm sure if I ask her for the party I have in mind that she would bring her sister or another friend, I doubt that she would come alone.

glorff wrote:Watch the sale flyers for the supermarket and find a good sale to be your excuse to go there (bring the flyer) and hope you run into her

You won't change her image of you by sending a card, it has to be personal, but safe, for her.

Remember confidence is attractive to most women

That would be a great excuse indeed!

I have to be more confident, argh!

Well, thanks again for the luck everyone, and I guess that all I can do is hope somehow everything will turn out ok.
It's crazy when you think about it, we live so close to each other yet still nothing happens....

RoboFlonne · Post by **RoboFlonne** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:24 pm

What do you like about her?

Make a list of 10-1000 things.

What do you think she likes most about you...

Make a list of 10-1000 things.

Memorize both lists.

Before going and asking her how she likes you...

p.s.... I would love to see the list!!!

dfunk7 · Post by **dfunk7** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 2:57 am

listen I havent read any of the posts but yours

But seriously all you can do is put yourself out there, whats the worst that can happen, this is the only way, ask her out, dont fear rejection, ask her out be confident and self assure, and im sure you'll ey what your hopeing for

I have many freinds that are scared to take the initiative, and girls sense this, she'll repect you more if you just do it

thats my 2 cents

Kujaku · Post by **Kujaku** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 7:16 pm

I don't have any good advise to give that everyone else hasn't (except for NSP...too freaking funny man).

I'm glad you decided not to show up at her house without being invited for the first time. "As romantic as a lot of movies make it seem, if she is unsure of you, it may seem creepy" - as quoted by my wife.

Good luck! I would show up at her supermarket to "shop" with a shopping list - that's the best advise I can give you.

miz ducky · Post by **miz ducky** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 12:50 am

buma wrote:I don't know.. maybe I don't know what I'm talking about... but go with what you feel - if you're true to yourself, you'll have the best judge of what you should do.

Listen to Buma, he's been with his GF for 15 years (or so), and lived with her for about 13 years. He's a smart nice person, so he really does know a thing or two (despite his modesty).

If you can't make a card by hand, can you make on one the computer? If you spend as much time on the computer as it sounds like, you might be able to make something unique on your own with out breaking out the scissors and paste.

When it comes down to it, you "fell in love with her" when you were 10 years old. A lot of things change between primary school and college.
You should get out of the house a bit more (and not just looking out the window) and you'll have a better chance to actually cross paths. You seem concerned about the fact that she spends a lot of time with friends, which tells me that you don't. So you should try doing more things.
1. You won't be at the computer all the time, she might begin to wonder what you're up to.
2. You'll have more to tell her about yourself and not just how great you think she is, when you do come back to the computer.

SS Kakarot · Post by **SS Kakarot** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:16 am

Thanks again for all the advice and luck everyone!

I'll try to make a list RoboFlone, I'll see if I post it here.

I think I'll just buy a nice card for her miz ducky, otherwise she might think I'm greedy, and I don't want that, but thanks for the tip.

I'm sure that she wouldn't like it if I just showed up at her home, or maybe even the supermarket where she lives, unless she liked me as much as I like her, but I doubt that she does that right now.

It's true miz ducky, I don't get out of the house as much as I'd like to.
I think that's because I only have an aunt and uncle as family (who I almost never see), and I indeed don't have a lot of friends.
The only places to go out in my town are a couple of very crowded cafe's, bars, and clubs very late at night.
That's just not my thing, perhaps if I had someone to go with, but I don't, and even then, I don't drink, not many people I met do that either.

I also seem to have bad luck, as the times when I do ask someone to go somewhere they either can't, or just don't show up.

She knows that I don't have a lot friends/family in my life, and I know that she does, maybe she finds that weird, I hope not.

So I'm very curious if she will come to the party I have in mind this month, and what she will have to say about my Christmas card.
Thanks again all!

almathea · Post by **almathea** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:02 pm

Well, as a girl, something I would really love is that a guy comes to my working place and gives me a nice X'mas card AND a single red rose. You show up at her working place (the shop), you just give that to her SMILING, if she asks you why, you simply says something like "the rose doesn't fit in the enveloppe" or so. And you'll see her reaction.

If she's happy invite her for a coffee or -better- skating after her work. He she doesn't seem especially happy, just wish her a merry X'mas and leave, still smiling.

Another thing is, what would a girl have to do to seduce you? Think about it an do it for her (well, if it's going to a football game, then forget about it!). Loving someone also means trying to fulfill his-her secret desires

RoboFlonne · Post by **RoboFlonne** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:08 pm

I wish you good luck!!!

You should look at the list of what she likes about you and enhance your good traits.

That will build your self confidence!!

The list about things you like about her is so that you have something sweet to tell her everytime you see her. This lets her know that you aren't a crazy psycho stalking her for 10 years.

Also in order for her to fall in love with you you have to contact, meet, talk with her everyday.

The more she sees you the more she will like you.

SS Kakarot · Post by **SS Kakarot** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:03 pm

Thanks almathea and RoboFlonne!:)

Just to keep everyone updated, I sent the Christmas card, she should have it tomorrow or Tuesday, hope she likes it.
Heck, why wouldn't she?

I have not spoken much with her, since she has not been online a lot, but I did find out that she is quitting the supermarket job, and starts a new normal office job in January.
Also spoke with her earlier today, it said on her website that she was cranky so asked what was up.
She didn't explain why, in fact she did not have a lot to say at all, so I guess she was pretty cranky alright.
She didn't even ask how I was.

I guess if she liked me as much as I like her she would have talked more with me, but who knows, maybe the Christmas Card will change the way she thinks about me, if miracles happen now would be the perfect month....

I'm not going to give up untill I know for sure how she feels about me.

The party thingie is this Friday, if I get a chance to speak with her on MSN after she got the card, I'll just say that it is and if she would like to come she's very welcome.

Thanks for reading, and as always, your posts are always welcome!

Shampoo · Post by **Shampoo** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:27 pm

Awww poor SSK

*huggles*

Love is so complicated isnt it?

Man if I was in your neck of the woods I'd so hit the clubs/bars

where I live there is absolutely NOTHING to do except go
to the supermarket LOL!!! XD

I wish you oodles of luck hon!
I still think you shouldnt work yourself up too much

like I posted before, alot can change in 10 yrs and you
dont know yet how compatiblble the 2 of you are in person.

I once dated a guy in H.S.-- absolute hunk! *_*
Football, track, and soccer jock.. every guy envied the dude
and every girl wanted to know what drug I put in his drink lol!

Well I was so hyped he asked me out, I dolled up
and met him at the appointed place-- 3 hrs later I practically
begged him to drive me home.

We were just on 2 different wave lengths

In the end we remained friends until I graduated.

I guess my point is, things could be entirely different
than you imagine it to be in your mind than reality.
Go with buma's advice.

Take it slow and offer to meet up for coffee and "catch up"

Then go from there.

EternityOfPain · Post by **EternityOfPain** » Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:35 pm

Alright dude its quite simple. Girls have a one track Mind. They are materialistic. Buy her a diamond ring, and propose.

Just remember. Safety first. Rite aid is usually open 24/7.

I can already see all the raging females sending me hate mail as I write this lol..