Really odd cel buying delema

Zag · Post by **Zag** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:50 pm

Okay, I need some advice here ~

I saw a couple cels of ebay I was interested in purchasing, until I saw the seller's name. Then I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

Long story short, it's someone who I used to consider a very close friend, who I knew from the internet and real life, back when I first started hanging out on the internet. Then we stopped being friends. I won't go into details, and I'm not mentioning names or ebay ids, because as far as I know this person is a good seller, our fight had nothing to do with anime cels, and maybe they have grown up a bit in the last ten years since I saw them.

I'm just debating whether to take a chance on buying from them.
I guess the problem is, I really don't want this person in my life again unless they've been able grow past our fight. Even buying something from them would do that. They would recognize my ebay id, it's the same thing I've always used online since the begining.

Honestly, it's making me physically ill right now. I didn't know they had any interest in cels. I'm irrationally scared that this person will become active in RS and here on A-B, and find a way to spin our bitter feelings into some type of sob story, making everyone hate me. I know, i know.
I said it was irrational. God, I'm shaking so bad now I can hardly type.
I think I'm going to have a panic attack.

Anyway, I'm going to go sit down now, and calm down. I'll check back for advise later.

ReiTheJelly · Post by **ReiTheJelly** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:57 pm

Ask another friend to act as a middleman.

iwakuralain16 · Post by **iwakuralain16** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:47 pm

ReiTheJelly wrote:Ask another friend to act as a middleman.

I second this!

EternityOfPain · Post by **EternityOfPain** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:16 pm

Honestly if you feel this badly I would suggest avoiding the auction like a plague. Nothing is worse getting a panic attack over (I have had a panic attack and anyone who has had one knows its something you wouldn't wish on anyone. period.)

If however you feel without the cel you would foreverly regret it. Then use a middleman for the purchase of the cel. If not, forget it. Thats my suggestion

Post by **sensei** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:41 pm

Maybe I'm thick-skinned or worse, but I once had a nasty exchange with a fellow collector, then six months later saw a high-end wishlist come up on eBay sold by the same person. Well ... I bid ... and won ... and paid cash on the barrelhead for it right away ... and was just as happy with the cel as if I'd bought it from my best friend. The other person got a fair price for the cel, so it would have been foolish to refuse to sell it to me. I took it as a way of letting bygones finally be bygones.

Belldandy16 · Post by **Belldandy16** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:49 pm

id forget about the cels and move on.
this is just a hobby, not your life.
hey who's to say an even better cel wont come around than what that person has?

there's so much out there its crazy (and its not worth all the stress over just a couple cels).

id say pass.

edit..
but if your heart would like to get back into a friendship with that person, id say absolutely dont go into a buisness transaction with them.
broken friendships are hard enough to mend and with the added (i dont want to say "pressure" but in a way in this case i think there would be involving a buisness transaction) i wouldnt want to add to the stress of trying to fix your relationship and having something maybe going wrong with the transaction, then it starts drama (and i can tell you look like you dont want any more with this person). *deep breath*

soooo.... just my two cents.

good luck with whatever you decide!

duotrouble · Post by **duotrouble** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:34 pm

I'm someone who could potentially wind up in the same situation you're in. I have an ex-friend who could sell her cels on ebay. In my case, she already has all my contact info so there's no threat of her needing that info to re-enter my life as she could at any moment now anyway. So that would be a strict transaction of invoice, money and package. No further communications. Simple.

However if this is someone who doesn't already know your contact info and you don't want them to, then I would use a third person to bid, pay, etc. Throw that third person a few extra dollars for their time.

lcatino · Post by **lcatino** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:59 pm

I agree with the majority here...

If you really want the cels, have a friend bid for you. Don't make yourself sick from worrying if you should bid yourself...save yourself the stress!

Zag · Post by **Zag** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:04 pm

Mm.. Thanks for the advise guys. I wasn't thinking middleman, because, honestly, I don't want any of you to know who this is. What happened between us was a strictly personal, non-cel related issue, and it HAS been 10 years. I don't want to sour things for anyone if you ever saw something of theirs you wanted to buy.

And trust me, if you knew the reason we fought, most of you who know me would probably threaten bodily harm to them. ^_^;;;; It was not a small issue that killed our friendship. But like I said, it's been a decade, they could be perfectly nice and adult to other buyers. I just wouldn't trust them with an over nine thousand foot pole with me.

Don't worry, there's an negative over nine-thousand percent chance I want to re-establish this friendship. I really do NOT want this person to know my shipping stuff, or anything else. I don't need them knowing where my family lives. Frankly, I wouldn't be saddened to read tomorrow that they were hit by a bus.

The cels were more of a "Hey-that's-cute" impulse-buy type thing. I'll never miss them. They had some lovely stuff from some of the more popular (read: high priced) series that many people here like, which is why I'm not going to middle-man.

So I think the jist is; I'll skip the cels. Now that I've calmed down and thought about it, I doubt there really was ever any chance I would have bought them. I think I just needed to re-assure myself that if it came down to it, you guys are my buddies, and I shouldn't worry abolut my past biting me in the ass.

Thanks for the advise, but thanks for the re-assurance more. I luv y'all.

Belldandy16 · Post by **Belldandy16** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 9:16 pm

and we love you too, Zag!

*hugs*

Post by **sensei** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:01 am

Sensei nevertheless makes a note to set aside a 9000-foot stick to poke Zag with

duotrouble · Post by **duotrouble** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:02 pm

I'm happy to hear you're not stressing over it anymore.

Zag wrote:I wasn't thinking middleman, because, honestly, I don't want any of you to know who this is. What happened between us was a strictly personal, non-cel related issue, and it HAS been 10 years. I don't want to sour things for anyone if you ever saw something of theirs you wanted to buy.

You wouldn't have to tell anyone why you wanted them to bid. You could just say it's personal and leave it at that. But the middleman I was suggesting was a neighbor or friend who lives in your same town. I have several non-cel friends who have ebay accounts. They've used me to buy and sell and I've used them when we wanted to stay under the radar.

Zag · Post by **Zag** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:08 pm

duotrouble wrote: neighbor or friend who lives in your same town.

I wouldn't trust my neighbors with a can of Diet Coke, let alone any money.

and.. .. i no has any friends in town all my friends are intarwebs

Penguinton · Post by **Penguinton** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:44 pm

Darn...

What about a family member? Perhaps one could help you out if you really wanted one of their cels.

majinuub · Post by **majinuub** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:40 pm

Like others have stated, it's best not to get directly involved if the person can cause you all kinds of stress again. If the cels are more towards impulse buys, then it's best to just let them pass. However, if the person ends up with something you must have, I'm sure a close friend or collector will be happy to help you.