Anime, a talking point on dates- ADVICE?!

[Krafty]

This may be an odd question coming from a stud like me (LOL) but I was wondering how to talk about the subject of 'anime art' with a couple of dates I have planned this week?

Since a number of you are happy in love, perhaps you could share some ideas on how I can approach this subject to girls who don't know the first thing about anime. It's bound to come up in disccussion because it's an important part of my life but I don't want to portray it as a nerdy hobby.

Here in England, to those ill-informed, it's often conceived as either cartoons for children or extreme pornography. That was a problem for me with my last girlfriend who turned her nose up at the whole concept and wouldn't listen to my explaination. I imagine she saw me as either a childish person for liking cartoons or a sexual deviant- or both!

So, any pointers would be appreciated as I don't want to give these girls the wrong impression and scupper my chances!

The first date is tomorrow evening so think fast people!

[Cloud]

A problem for him or her with his or her last girlfriend who turned her nose up at the whole concept and wouldn't listen to his or her explaination is a terrible thing to waste.

[Shampoo]

I'm embarrassed to say.... but I had the same ill conceived
notions about anime and the whole subculture before I got into
it Junior year of High School. In fact, it was because I teased
my best friend over anime and her going to "nerd fests"
that she shoved some Ranma VHS tapes in my purse and
said "STF and just try it"


So I have a weird p.o.v from both sides-- before I watched and
appreciated it, and now after, as a collector and fan.

The way my best friend described it to me that made me
check it out was that she learned so much about
Japan's culture, daily life, fashion, and creativity from their tv shows and
animation. The genres are so diverse and push boundaries that
no western tv show could really suffice or measure up.

If you want to mention cel collecting, just say you collect
the artwork from these japanese pop culture shows.
For some reason the word "cartoon" and "anime" immediately
turns off the ears, so just word it for what it is
in a broader spectrum (which is still honest).

Hope this made sense! It did in my head at least
lol!

GL!! Let us know how it turns out!

[Cloud]

Which way is that?

[pixie_princess]

I'd say don't brooch the subject without it being brought up by her.
I love anime, and am a fan of Sailor Moon... Yet, upon first meeting a friend of a longtime friend of mine, he launched off at my husband about anime in an extreme fashion. My husband was wearing an Inu Yasha or FMA shirt I gave him for Christmas at the time, and stated that if the guy wanted to talk shop so to speak, to talk to me (since I'm pretty into it).

Liking something is cool. Being passionate about something is awesome. The ability to intellegently converse with someone is always a good thing.

This guy ended up going about it the wrong way and gave off some rather ahh.... uncomfortable vibes. This is coming from a girl who was a tomboy and had many male friends during school. I was used to the 'fanboy' or 'geek' factor. I really loved comic books, still enjoy video games and participated in a few roleplaying games. I even Larp'ed.

What this guy did wrong is that he came on too strongly and gave way too much personal information. If there are significant moments in your life that occured during show XYZ, the other person probably does not want to know that. At least, not until you are a lot closer.

I'm not saying you should downplay your love for Anime at all. Just dont go totally gung-ho about it, especially not on your first date. You can mention that the roots for anime as we know it date back a long time ago and were inspired by classic Walt Disney animated features. At that time, it wasn't unusual for people to enjoy Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. You might also mention that some series are more on par with the Animated adventures of Superman, or Batman the animated series. Or if you are looking for a way to get it more easily accepted you could always mention how somethings are easier to achieve in that medium than in traditional live action. Personally speaking, that is something I've always enjoyed myself.

For the love of kittens though, stay away from discussing anything with fanservice or moe. The girl might be freaked out. If you are into that, then wait for a while so she can get to know you first. The one thing that typically scares girls the most is a person who comes off way too strongly on something considered to be a deviation from the norm.

Just some generic advice. Hope it helps.

[Cloud]

Tell me more about her.

[Krafty]

Thanks for the advice, Shampers and Pixie! I needed an angle to approach this subject at and perhaps it is best to play it down. As you say, relate the medium to generic pop-culture and mention how animation can acheive effects that live-action cannot.
If the subject does crop up, I could approach it in an academic way; since I wrote a book on 'how to draw manga', that should help.

For the love of kittens though, stay away from discussing anything with fanservice or moe. The girl might be freaked out.

So discussing tentacle attacks on unsuspecting nubiles is a no-no? j/k

Yeah, I'll let you know how the first date turns out with regard to the anime subject- the other get-together is on Sunday so I may have learnt something else by then

[Sky Rat]

Hmm, well… I’m not sure how to go about first broaching the subject (I’ve personally only dated people already interested in anime themselves,) but my parents originally held the misconception that all anime is trashy…. I convinced my mom otherwise by making her sit down and watch a couple of Ghibli movies with me. A lot of those seem to have pretty universal appeal to people who might not like all types of animation.

I’ve tried explaining to friends that anime has as many different genres as regular cinema, and you can’t really judge it in any one way as a whole entity. There is pretty much a show/movie out there that will appeal to anyone (and plenty that won’t as well.) Shampoo’s point that it really exposes you to a lot of Japanese culture is also a good selling point.

I think the main thing is more how you explain it than what you say…if you feel embarrassed when you tell them about it they’ll be more likely to pick up on that and write it off as nerdy, than if you’re excited/confident as you explain it to them.

I’d maybe start out asking her about what types of movies and shows she likes to watch…then maybe based on her interests just invite her to watch something with you. A good quality show can sell itself if it’s catered to the audience. If she doesn’t like it, at least she will have witnessed that it wasn’t porn or a kid’s show.

[JWR]

Been a long time since I was in the dating scene but I would think that you might consider doing simular to what I do when I give a presentaion like I did last year. I start at first by just mentioning that you collect art from Japan.

You could later when asked what kind if art mention sketchs and then when pressed show off a few of the nicer genga's and roughs. You could then explain how they are then animated like what Disney did on Snow White and how the genga sketch is transformed by a talented artist who then painstakingly paints the image on the backside of a plastic sheet layer by layer till they end up with a finished animation cel that each is a one of a kind piece of artwork as well as animation history.

Due to Japanese studios not having the high dollar/yen/pound budgets of their hollywood counterparts it has been found that it cheaper to produce high quality animated stories that don't require high paid actors or special effects.

You should then mention that animation from Japan won the 1st ever Oscar from the Academy of Motion Pictures when it was given to Miyazaki for Spirited Away.

As far as what to say when someone brings up Hentai , I normally state that yes just like in films there are some animation that are NC-17. The percentage is small just like regular films and Tv shows but as with a lot of such items tended to be the 1st items brought back and imported to different countries as that there seems to always be a ready market for such films be them live action or animated. Also animated actors don't risk Aids and other STD's.

[iceman57]

how I can approach this subject to girls who don't know the first thing about anime. It's bound to come up in disccussion because it's an important part of my life but I don't want to portray it as a nerdy hobby.

Simply cut down this aspect to balance with the clichee of anime. If anime burns head they’d be noone surviving through the 80s. The spectrum of anime is large, as with cinema, study anime code is like studying cinema the timeline is just a bit different : started in the mid-60s, golden era in the 80s, till today.
You can also explain the business aspect in arts, especially the foreign exchange market between GBP and JPY currencies, and show her some arts.

Problem is if you tell her “I collect half naked action figures to study japanese anatomyâ€

[kamidake]

I think with several Miyazaki films being released overseas and getting really positive review, you can give those as examples and introduce them as more in par with pixar films, which a lot of adults enjoy and not just for kids. I find them to be the easiest example to give to non-anime friends, and most of them responded positively.

Anyway, good luck!

[Cloud]

Thanks for telling me your opinion.

[cutiebunny]

I'd say mention it with hobbies. Ask her what hobbies she enjoys. She'll probably tell you about "normal" hobbies because she doesn't want you to think she's an oddball either. You can then mention some normal hobbies too, or you can mention that you enjoy collecting Japanese artwork. There's a lot of different types of Japanese artwork out there, so, this wouldn't label you as an insta-nutjob.

It'll depend on how the date is going. Ultimately, though, if anime plays a big part in your life, she's going to have to get comfortable with the idea that you enjoy it. That doesn't mean that she needs to embrace anime and run off to every convention dressed as Rangiku-san(it's a theme tonight...), but, she should at least accept the idea that you have a healthy enjoyment for anime.


Who knows...maybe she enjoys anime, too and is dying for a chance to wear her FLCL shirt.

[Cordelia]

It's flattering for a girl when a guy shares his passion with you, I interpret it as that he is into me. Like when my husband who told me about his fave soccer team and music...but not immediately and extensively, I think it was on the second or third date. I guess you can mention anime but spend the first date, being truly interested in her and let her tell you about her passion while you listen.

Unfortunately, passion in anime does have negative connotations to most ppl who are not fans so you might want to play down the otaku thing....unless she shows up in an anime t-shirt It's about first impressions which aren't always rational. Have fun and let us know how it went!

[Cloud]

No I don't think I can do mention anime but spend the first date being truly interested in her and let her tell you about her passion while you listen.